


They're like space cops on space patrol

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: <- those tags are pretty minor there isn't much of them but just to be safe, Basically DEH + BMC but in the Voltron: Legendary Defender universe, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, boyf riends - Freeform, haha don't kill me, i tried guys, jared is a little shit but not an outright asshole (most of the time), my first actual fic here, treebros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ***THIS FIC IS DISCONTINUED***Sorry lads I love this concept as an AU but it'd really be better suited to a couple of one-off drawings rather than a fic where I've actually got to jam these wildly different characters into the same decisions and plot path.  It just doesn't work from a characterization standpoint.  Basically, good for semi-cracky one-off arts, bad for semi-serious fic idea.  But hey, I learned a lot from writing this (namely don't make Evan remotely sarcastic EVER or my sister will never let me hear the end of it), mostly a lot of stylistic do's and don'ts.  Just to be clear, I didn't decide to discontinue this due to negative feedback or anything.  Just personal lack of interest and dissatisfaction with the work's premise overall.Imagine if Evan, Connor, Jared, Jeremy, and Michael had to save the universe.With giant robotic lions.They're fucked.





	1. Prologue: Kerberos

**Author's Note:**

> Some stuff you might wanna know (non-Voltron fans should look at this)
> 
> | Jared: The Black Paladin | Jared was such a natural ace pilot (much to everyone's surprise), that despite his young age and penchant for ill-timed snark, was sent on the ill-fated Kerberos mission. Fortunately for the team, he's actually a pretty good strategist and decision-maker when he's not trying to rile someone up or impress them. Which is most of the time. But when push comes to shove, he can usually set aside his sorta-friendly asshole attitude to get the job done. Of course, all bets are off when you've got none other than Connor Murphy as his right-hand man. Despite his devil-may-care attitude, he actually cares quite deeply for the wellbeing of his teammates. Even Connor's... eventually.
> 
> | Connor: The Red Paladin | Short-tempered and with more unresolved emotional issues than a YA protagonist, Connor is the team's hotshot loner boy with an attitude. He's a naturally skilled pilot and fighter who got expelled from the Galaxy Garrison due to disciplinary issues about a year before the story starts. He and Jared had a bit of a rivalry over who was the better pilot back when they were both in the same class, though it mostly consisted of Jared slinging insults first and Connor trying his hardest not to punch the little turd. Of course, trying not to punch Jared becomes a much more difficult task when he's stuck being the guy's second-in-command. And if that weren't tough enough, he's teammates with the boy of his dreams who just so happens to hate his guts. But hey, tragedy's nothing new to this Murphy.
> 
> | Evan: The Green Paladin | Hoo BOY this kid's had it rough. First Evan loses his mom, his longtime crush, and his family friend on the infamous Kerberos mission, then he loses his maybe-more-than-just-a-friend from a fallout over trying to figure out what happened to them. Yeah. This story's Evan is a little more hardened than most of his incarnations, but he's still the same sweet guy with chronic anxiety that we all know and love. He's also the team's reluctant peacemaker and a self-taught engineer. This boy has a surprising penchant for snark and cutting remarks, but he mostly reserves them for a certain Murphy boy who kinda broke his heart. Speaking of, his relationship with Connor is complicated at best, alternating between a toned-down Lance/Keith type rivalry, and heartfelt teamwork. But who knows? Maybe they'll figure it out.
> 
> | Jeremy: The Blue Paladin | He doesn't wanna be the hero, but too bad, 'cause he certainly gets to be one of them! Jeremy's the team's resident sharpshooter with a 7th wheel complex and healthy dose of anxiety. Completely oblivious to his best friend's massive crush on him, he's not the most observant guy out there, but what he lacks in perceptiveness he makes up for in heart. When Evan was alone and friendless after the Kerberos mission and Connor's expulsion, Jeremy extended the hand of friendship and invited Evan to hang out with him and Michael. The three of them formed a tight-knit friendship soon after despite their incompetence on the simulator. He's excellent at objective combat strategy, but when it comes to predicting what people will do/think, he's mediocre at best. This usually works out alright though, since Michael's fairly skilled in that regard and the two of them tend to fight as a team. Only problem is, no amount of Michael's help will alert Jeremy to the boy's huge crush on him. Will Jeremy ever figure it out? Maybe it'll take something unexpected to bring on epiphany...
> 
> | Michael: The Yellow Paladin | The team's resident tech dude and a surprisingly good reader of people, Michael is a soft boy who desperately wants his best friend to notice him as anything more than a friend. He's arguably the most emotionally stable out of everyone (despite some slight dependency issues), and as such tends to act as a confidant for other members of the team. It's also because of this that he ends up being the de facto diplomat of the Paladins. However it does take him some time to grow into the role and be able to overcome his antisocial tendencies. When he and Jeremy are paired together, they become a formidable fighting force despite their relative lack of experience, thanks to their complementary skill sets. Only problem is, when he's been pining after the guy for so long, how much longer can he deal with Jeremy's complete obliviousness? And what might happen if a new possibility presents itself..?

**-Kerberos: Moon of Pluto-**

 

“Careful there sweetie, this ice is delicate.” Mrs. Hansen warned as her protoge, Zoe Murphy, carefully removed a thick column of ice from the core extractor. 

 

“It’s just so amazing,” Zoe said, eyes shining bright with curiosity and wonderment.  Then she glanced over at the boy who was currently holding the extractor in place. “Jared, could you  _ try _ to hold this thing steady?”

 

Jared rolled his eyes but readjusted his grip on the extractor, “Please, I’m a professional.  If this thing’s shaking it’s because you’re too busy making heart eyes at frozen water.”

 

“This is history in the making, Jared,” Heidi said shaking her head but suppressing a smile, “We’ve traveled farther beyond our planet than anyone in human history, and this ice could hold microscopic clues about the existence of life outside Earth.  Let’s try to keep the snarking to a minimum until we’re finished.”

 

“Think of it, Ms. Hansen!  We could use those clues to become the first people to meet aliens!”  Zoe continued, grinning as the ice core slid out of the extractor.

 

“My life’s work would be complete,” the older woman replied. But her joy quickly turned to shock when the ground began to vibrate and a rumbling noise came from behind them, “What is that?  Seismic activity?”

 

Jared stared quizzically in the direction of the noise, “This planet’s the size of dinner plate, it shouldn’t even be able to  _ have  _ earthquakes.” The rumbling got louder as a massive, alien-looking spacecraft appeared over the horizon.

 

“Wh-?  What _ is that _ ?” Ms. Hansen stood dumbfounded at the sight of the ship looming overhead.

 

Jared froze and stared up at the ship in shock, eyes widening as he looked up and saw the strange protrusion on the bow of the ship start to glow.  It began thrumming loudly with energy like it was charging up a weapon.  “Run!  Come on,  _ run! _ ” he shouted.  Jared took his crewmates by the hand and started pulling them with him. The weapon discharged a second later, and where the ray hit the ground it immediately ripped up the terrain in a tractor beam, pulling huge chunks of ice and rock toward the ship like they weighed nothing. They ran faster, but it wasn’t enough and they were quickly swept up in the beam’s magnetic pull, screaming for help as its scarlet glow washed over them.

 

\---

 

Jared awoke to a pounding pain in his head. His tongue felt like lead, his mind was a groggy blur, and every limb ached as though he’d been dragged over a bed of boulders.  Then he heard a muffled voice speak to someone.

 

“Emperor Zarkon, we were scouting System X-9-Y as ordered when we found these primitive scientists.  I don't think they know anything useful.”

 

The ship.  The beam.  Aliens.  Jared’s eyes shot open with terror as he snapped his head up to face whoever—  _ what- _ ever was speaking. He saw a tall, humanoid being with purple skin and heavy armor speaking to a shadowy figure on a holographic screen.  Then the figure spoke.

 

“Take them back to the main fleet for interrogation. The druids will find out what they know.”  

 

That one must’ve been this “Emperor Zarkon”, Jared thought.  He tried to stay calm, but no amount of Garrison training could’ve prepared him for this.  His breathing grew ragged. He took in his surroundings in an attempt to steady himself, but it only got worse when he saw the unconscious figures of his crewmates held in a kneeling position by some soldiers a few feet away from him.  No obvious injuries were visible.  But their bulky spacesuits made it almost impossible to tell for sure.  They could be dying for all he knew.

 

“What the hell do you want with us?” Jared blurted out, “We’re not a threat to you, we're unarmed—!”   _ Crack! _

 

A sickening crunch rang out from where the butt of a gun struck Jared’s head.  He let out a sharp cry of pain and crumpled to the ground as his vision faded to black. 

 

When Jared woke again, he was being dragged by his arms across a cold metal floor.  He blearily opened his eyes to see Ms. Hansen and Zoe being marched behind him. They traveled through a hallway lined with cell doors, each having only a small slit at the top for air and light to be let in.  Voices came from the cells.  They mostly blurred together, but Jared heard fragments like “they brought in another one,” and “who is it?”.  His breathing quickened as he returned more fully to consciousness.  Panic began to set in. They entered a catwalk, and as Jared looked to either side he saw entire stories and columns of nothing but cellblocks. Hundreds— no, probably thousands of them lined walls that vertically extended farther than he could see.  His blood ran like ice through his veins.  His breathing was rapid and shallow.  His heart was pounding out of his chest.  This was it.

 

He was going to die in here.


	2. In Which Evan Flirts With Unconsciousness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone get that boy a juice box

**-One Year Later-**

 

“Galaxy Garrison flight log 5-11-14.  Begin descent to Kerberos for rescue mission.”  Michael said confidently as he angled the spacecraft downward. The ship groaned and rattled in protest as it sped into a shaky nosedive, jostling its crew members around as their pilot manhandled the controls.

 

“M-Michael, can you  _ please _ keep this thing straight?” Evan pleaded, gripping the edges of his seat.  He looked slightly nauseous and very panicked.

 

Michael waved him off, “Relax, Evan, I’m just getting a feel for the stick.  I mean, it’s not like I did  _ this! _ ” he said, abruptly plunging the craft downwards, “Or  _ this! _ ” slamming it to the side.  Michael snickered as the boy groaned again, sliding back and forth in his seat. 

 

“Oh come on!  Y-You know I hate these missions!” Evan cried.  He took a few deep breaths and gripped the edges of his readout panel for stability.  Focusing on the screen only added to his worries though, as several malfunction warnings flashed bright red in various places all over the ship.  Most of them were clustered around the hydraulics compartment.  Evan sighed shakily and tried to get his crew’s attention, “Uh, guys?”

 

Jeremy whipped around in his seat to face Michael. “We’ve picked up a distress beacon!” It didn’t appear that either of them had heard Evan.

 

“Alright, look alive team.  Jeremy, track the coordinates.”

 

“Copy.”  Jeremy replied as he turned back to the readout.

 

Michael still had that confident grin plastered across his face as he looked at his crewmates.  They had this in the bag.  Well, as long as Evan could stay calm enough to work the engineer panel and Jeremy didn’t accidentally lean on the eject button again.  He glanced back to the main control screen and adjusted its settings before accelerating towards the moon’s surface, causing the ship to rumble in displeasure.

 

“Knock it off, Michael,  _ please! _ ” Evan cried, “T-There’s something wrong with the ship’s hydraulics.”  The ship’s main computer started beeping angrily in reply.

 

“This one’s on you, dude. You’re the engineer!  Whack it with a wrench or something— just do whatever you have to do to keep us in the air!”  Michael said, his mind clearly elsewhere.  

 

Evan interrupted his oncoming anxiety attack just long enough to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation.  He pulled his control screen closer to asses the damage on a closer level.  The ship groaned again, louder this time.

 

“Oh no.” Evan gulped.  To put it mildly, the situation was  _ bad. _  Sucking in a breath, he tried to blink away the black spots in his vision, but at this point he couldn’t tell if the world tilting was due to him passing out or Michael’s shitty piloting.

 

Judging by the boy’s expression, things weren’t looking good, “‘Oh no?’— Fix now, faint later.”  Michael ordered as he went back to the controls.  He grimaced as the ship’s rattling increased.   _ So much for having it in the bag _ , he thought.

 

“I lost contact.  The shaking is interfering with our sensors.” Jeremy said pointedly.

 

Michael twisted around again, “Come on, Evan!  You can do this!  Just don’t pass out!”

 

“I-It’s not res…responding.” Evan slurred as he stumbled out of his seat, presumably either to faint or fix the stabilizer.  Michael hoped to god it was the latter.  Suddenly a locator icon flashed on the ship’s windshield, marking where they needed to touch down. 

 

“Oh, nevermind fellas, thar she blows.  Preparing for approach on visual.”  Michael grinned, at last having a target to aim for.  The ship continued to shudder angrily.

 

Jeremy grimaced, “I don’t think that’s a good idea with our current mechanical and... passing out issues.” Evan was inspecting the stabilizer compartment next to him, though it looked more like he was about to take a nap the hard way than patch up the hydraulics. 

 

“Agreed.” Evan muttered, gripping the sides of the compartment as he fell to his knees.

 

“Don’t worry guys.  This baby can take it, can't you, champ?”  Michael said dismissively as he patted the ship’s console in affection.  It shook violently in response.  “See?  She was nodding.  She was nodding.” he said unconvincingly. “Jeremy, hail down to them and let them know their ride is here.”

 

Jeremy unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up to reach what looked like a glorified walkie-talkie.  He began speaking into it, “Attention, lunar vessel- AUGH—!” but was cut short when a sudden jolt from the ship sent him crashing to the floor.

 

“What are you doing?!” Michael cried, “Buckle your belt— and keep it together, Evan!”

 

It was a little too late for that.  Evan’s body slumped over the stabilizer compartment, evidently having passed out from the onset of his anxiety attack.  He’d be fully conscious in a minute or so, but that was precious time they didn’t have.

 

Jeremy did his best to ignore the doomed state of their mission and began speaking into the comms again, “Attention lunar vessel, this is Galaxy Garrison Rescue Craft One Victor Six Three Tango. Coming in for landing and extraction—  _ against _ crew recommendations.”

 

“No time for your mutinous comments now, Jere.  They’re going under and we’re going in.”  Michael plunged the ship toward a dangerously narrow ice arch on the moon’s surface.

 

“Look out for that overhang!” Jeremy cried.

 

Michael twisted around to face his remaining crewmate and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, “No worries.  My first year in flight school, know what they called me?  They called me "The Tailor" because of how I  _ thread the needle~ _ ” He turned back and rolled the ship nearly on its side in an effort not to hit the legs of the arch.  “Come around, come around, come on, come on—”

 

**_CRUNCH_ **

 

“WE LOST A  _ WING!? _ ” Evan shrieked, evidently having woken up and clambered back into his chair, watching in abject horror as the entire console screen flashed a warning red. The ship began to shake even more violently as it careened out of control toward the moon’s surface.

 

Michael stared straight ahead like he was looking into a camera on The Office.

 

“Well, fuck...”

 

Everything went black.

 

\---

 

“SIMULATION FAILED”

 

A feminine voice read as those words flashed bright red in all caps on the screen of the cockpit. 

 

“Nice work,  _ ‘Tailor’ _ .” Jeremy said sarcastically as the back of the ship opened to reveal a few dozen snickering teens and one very displeased commander.

 

“All of you, out!” Commander Reyes ordered in his usual condescendingly flamboyant tone,  “Let us see if we can use this  _ complete failure _ as a lesson for the rest of you students.  Can anyone point out the mistakes these three so-called cadets made in the simulator?

 

“The engineer fainted in the main gearbox.”  Jake Dillinger said with a barely-concealed laugh.

 

“Indeed.  As everyone knows, sleeping on active machinery is  _ not _ allowed.”  Reyes glared pointedly at Evan, who shrank back and looked like he’d rather still be passed out in the ship.  “Anything else?”

 

Chloe Valentine who, up to this point had been tittering with her beta bitch Brooke Lohst, smirked, “The comm spec took off his safety harness.”

 

“The pilot crashed!” Alana Beck interjected helpfully.

 

“Corrrrrrect!” Reyes trilled, rolling his r’s, “And worst of all, the whole jump, they were arguing with each other.  My  _ God _ , if you're going to be this bad individually, then you'd better at least be able to work as a team! The Galaxy Garrison exists to turn young, sparkling cadets like you into the next generation of elite astroexplorers, but  _ these  _ kinds of mental mistakes are  _ exactly _ what cost the lives of the people on the Kerberos Mission.”

 

“Mistakes my ass.” Evan muttered under his breath a little too loudly, in an uncharacteristic bout of hostility.

 

Reyes shrieked indignantly and whipped around to face the boy, “What was that?”  Evan blanched, looking torn between fainting again or giving the instructor a piece of his mind.  Then Michael cut in.

 

“Sorry, sir.” the boy said hurriedly, clapping a hand over Evan’s mouth, “I think he hit his head when we clipped the wing.  But point taken.” he added cheerfully.  Moments afterward, Evan swatted Michael’s hand away, earning him a glare from Jeremy.  The three of them stood there awkwardly as Reyes began to berate Evan further.

 

“I hope I don't need to remind you that the only reason you're here is that the best pilot in your class had a discipline issue and flunked out.   _ Don't _ follow in his footsteps.  Next!”  Evan stared at the ground bitterly as Reyes stepped back to let the next group of students into the ship.

 

**-Later That Day-**

 

“Lights out in five minutes, people!  Everyone back to their dorms!” Commander Reyes called as he patrolled the hallways and shooed mingling students back to their quarters. Little did he know, Jeremy and Michael were hiding around a nearby corner waiting for an opportunity to sneak past.

 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” the taller boy wavered, glancing furtively around the room as though they were wanted criminals on the run.

 

“Relax, Jere.” Michael said reassuringly as he checked to see if the coast was clear, “Reyes said we need to bond as a team, right?  We’ll just grab Evan, hit the town, loosen up, maybe even meet some nice g—”

 

“Okay, I'm-I’m just, I’m just saying this here, right now, on the record: This is a bad idea.”  As he said this, the lights shut off, marking them as officially out past curfew.  Michael seized the opportunity and darted down the hallway with Jeremy in tow.

 

“Aw come on man!  Y’know, for someone in a space exploration program, you don’t have much of a sense of adventure.”  he teased as they dropped down to crawl past the window of the teacher’s lounge.

 

“I do too!” Jeremy protested, “I’d just rather go on an adventure that won’t land me in the principal’s office again!”

 

“Fair enough, fair enough.”

 

“So we can go back to the dorm?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Jeremy’s face lit up.

 

“But I’ll mock ya forever if you do.”

 

Michael snickered as his friend sighed in defeat. Moments later they rounded the bend leading to Evan’s room, but out of nowhere the door opened, and Jeremy yelped as he felt Michael pull him roughly behind the corner.  Almost immediately, the hoodie-clad boy his stuck head out to see who it was.  “Where is  _ he _ going?” he mused as none other than Evan dashed out of the room with an almost comically large backpack on his shoulders.  He didn’t appear to have seen them.  Michael paused for a moment.  “Change of plans, we’re following Hansen.”

 

“Do we have to?” Jeremy balked at the idea of adding countless variable to their already inadvisable plans for the night.  Michael merely grinned in reply and took off after him, causing the taller boy to groan, “Of course we do.”  He facepalmed briefly before going to catch up with his Player 2.

 

They tailed Evan all the way up to the roof of the Garrison’s main building, trying to remain unseen as they tiptoed their way past security cameras and night guards. The boy clearly traveled this route often— he never stopped to double-check where he was going and seemed to have developed the most discreet route possible. Jeremy and Michael hung back and watched as Evan produced some complex-looking pieces of technical equipment from his pack and sat them down near the edge of the roof. There were various screens attached to what looked like a large computer, a couple of radio processing devices, and even a satellite dish comprising his sci-fi setup.  He connected a set of bulky headphones to one of the gadgets before slipping them on to listen to… something.  Michael and Jeremy quietly crept up behind him. 

 

When Evan didn’t seem to notice, Michael pulled one of the headphones away from his ear, “You come up here to rock out?” he asked slyly.  Evan shrieked in alarm and jumped about ten feet in the air.

 

“GAH—WHAT THE—!?” he whipped around to glare at the two boys who’d followed him.  “W-What are you doing up here?”

 

“We could ask you the same question.” Jeremy replied, eyeing the equipment and its owner suspiciously.

 

Evan fidgeted with the cord of his headphones, “I-I just came up here to, uh, look at t-the stars.”

 

“That’s some pretty fancy equipment for just a little stargazing.” Michael said skeptically, eyes narrowing as he leaned and scrutinized the device, “Where’d you even get this stuff?  It doesn’t look like Garrison tech.”

 

“It is... I just, uh— I made some modifications.” He paused, “Lots of modifications...”

 

Jeremy reached toward an especially pushable-looking red button on one of the consoles, “You built all of this?”

 

“Yeah— d-don’t touch that.”  Evan said, gently smacking Jeremy’s hand away.  “With this thing I can scan all the way to the edge of the solar system.”

 

“That right?” Michael nodded thoughtfully, “...All the way to Kerberos?”

 

Evan’s face fell, and he grumbled something possibly obscene under his breath.

 

Michael threw his hands in the air, “You get pissy or look like you’re about to cry every time the instructors bring it up!  What’s your deal?” His tone was a tad annoyed but there was a clear undercurrent of concern.  He stared at Evan expectantly as the boy slightly-less-gently smacked Jeremy’s wandering hands away from his equipment again.

 

Evan was definitely on edge about something, “S-Second warning, Tallass!”

 

“Why does everyone keep calling me that?!” Jeremy shrieked, clutching his hand.

 

Michael cut back in, “Look, Evan, if we're going to bond as a team, we can't have any  _ secrets _ .” The statement was lighthearted enough, but the way he said ‘secrets’ made it clear that the two of them weren’t going to leave until Evan spilled the beans.

 

“F-Fine.” Evan sighed, dropping the defensive, “You probably won’t believe me, b-but, um, the world as we know it is about to change— stop touching my equipment!” he yelled at the boy who was currently prodding a satellite dish.  Jeremy recoiled sheepishly and tried to pay attention.

 

Evan broke eye contact and pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.  “L-Look, I’ve been scanning the system for months now, a-and it’s been picking up  _ alien _ radio chatter.”

 

Jeremy and Michael stared at each other for a few seconds, wide-eyed and unsure of how to react. 

 

“No offense dude, but that sounds almost as ridiculous as that time someone tried to sell me a squid in the boys’ bathroom.” Jeremy said, trying and failing keep from snickering.

 

Michael swatted the back of Jeremy’s head, “Be nice, Jeremy!” he admonished, before turning sheepishly to Evan, “But, yeah, I’m pretty sure that if aliens were within communication distance of Earth, an engineering student working with a few jerry-rigged computers and satellite dishes wouldn’t be the first to pick them up.”

 

Evan scowled somewhat bitterly,  “I’m s-serious.  Th-They keep repeating one word: Voltron.”  The look he was giving the two boys could’ve cut glass.

 

“Okay what is this, an eighties mech cartoon?”  Jeremy said with a laugh, but evidently trying to soften the impact,  “Better dig out my Power Rangers jumpsuit before the aliens get here.”

 

“Fine, believe whatever you want.”  Evan said dismissively, “But tonight this stuff is going crazier than I’ve ever heard it before.”

 

Michael held his hands out in a placatory gesture, “Okay, okay, so let’s say you’re actually picking up alien radio chatter.  How crazy is it—”  he was suddenly cut off by the blaring of the Garrison’s emergency alarm system. 

 

“Attention, students.  This is not a drill.  We are on lockdown.  Security situation Zulu Niner. Repeat: all students must remain in barracks until further notice.”  Commander Reyes spoke over the loudspeakers.

 

“Oh, would you look at that.” Evan’s voice dripped thick with uncharacteristic sarcasm as Michael and Jeremy looked back at him in shock. “I-It’s probably just a coincidence.” 

 

“W-What’s going on?” Jeremy asked as he looked around in a panic.  Then his gaze settled on something above them. The boy made a horrified squeaking noise as he jabbed a finger at the sky in terror, and Evan swiveled his head around to see what the commotion was.  As if on cue, a large, glowing object had appeared in in the atmosphere and was hurtling toward the ground at breakneck speed.  “I-Is that a meteor?  A very, very big meteor?” Jeremy asked, his voice cracking.

 

Evan grabbed a pair of binoculars and directed his gaze toward the object.  “N-No... it’s a ship!”

 

Michael yanked the binoculars away (with Evan still clinging on) and peered through them.  “Holy crap— this is amazing!  That ship is  _ not _ one of ours!” The ship seemed to be heading directly for the Garrison and showed no signs of stopping.

 

“No, it’s one of  _ theirs _ .” said Evan, his face lit up in satisfaction and awe as the ship zoomed overhead and crashed behind a nearby outcropping of boulders with an earth-shattering explosion.

 

“So, wait.  There really are aliens out there?” Jeremy wrung his hands nervously.

 

Ignoring him, Evan lept up and started shoving the equipment into his pack “W-We’ve gotta see that ship!” he said as Garrison ATVs began rolling out towards the crash site. 

 

Michael quickly moved to help Evan gather his stuff, “Come on Jere!  Let’s get moving!”  He shouted as he dashed off after Hansen, who was already halfway to the rooftop door.

 

Jeremy sighed meekly before sprinting after them.  “This is the worst team-building exercise ever.”


	3. In Which Things Explode and No One is Heterosexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooh someone's salty

Evan, Michael, and Jeremy had found a secluded hill from which to watch the spectacle unfolding. Science and medical teams had set up dome-like tents over everything before the three of them got there, so all they had was Jared’s homemade tech and their own imaginations to try and guess what was in that ship. Unfortunately there was only one pair of binoculars between Jeremy and Michael— Evan needed to work the scanners since he was the only one who could use them— so they decided to settle things like men.

With a game of rock-paper-scissors. 

Jeremy won, so he got to use the binoculars while Michael got to keep watch. Peering through the binoculars, his gaze went to a large grey pod with glowing purple lights on the sides. “Whoa! What the heck is that thing?” he exclaimed, before a pretty woman in a military uniform emerged from the main dome and he swiveled to get a better look, “And who the heck is she?— OW!”

“Hey!” Evan hissed, waving a hand in front of Jeremy’s face, “Keep it in your pants and focus on what we came here for.” He snatched the binoculars and handed them to Michael. Something told him that the hoodie-clad boy wouldn’t get distracted by attractive military chicks.

“Aw come on! Don’t I at least get a second chance?” Jeremy whined.

“No.” Evan said before turning to Michael, “Here, Michael. See if you can find a way in.”

Michael wasted no time assuming his position, playfully shoving Jeremy out of the way. He spent about a minute scanning the crash site for any openings in security but found none, much to everyone’s dismay. “Ugh, we’ll never get past those guards.” 

“Soooo… we can go back to the barracks now?” Jeremy said, his anxiety starting to return.

“Wait.” Evan held up a hand, “Th-they set up a camera in there a-and I grabbed its feed. Look!” Michael and Jeremy leaned in to peer at the monitor. There was just static for a moment, but then the video appeared. They’d expected to see some med techs with an alien autopsy underway, or a bunch of scientists attempting to decipher a strange artifact. But what they saw was far more surprising.

A guy who looked to be about their age was strapped down to a table. He had medium brown hair with a white streak running across the front and wore a ragged black and purple outfit that looked like it was from some kind of sci-fi prison camp. He struggled against the restraints, looking more pissed off than scared, “Watch it, asshole! What the hell are you doing!?” he cried.

“Calm down, Jared. We just need to keep you quarantined until we run some tests.” replied one of the med techs.

“Listen to me! Aliens are coming!” Jared struggled harder against the restraints, “These things destroy worlds! Our whole planet is going to get royally fucked if you morons don’t let me go!”

“Holy shit,” Jeremy breathed, “That's Jared Kleinman! The pilot of the Kerberos Mission! That guy's a legend!”

“And an egotistical asshole.” Evan added bitterly.

“Dude!” Michael and Jeremy cried in unison. Then Michael continued, “You know him?”

“Y-Yes. We were frie— family friends before the mission. Back when we first came to the Garrison, I mean.”

“Okay, so what happened? Did you two get in a fight or something?” Jeremy asked.

“Look—” Evan pinched the bridge of his nose for the umpteenth time that day, “He was the snarky, doesn’t take anything seriously type as long as we’d known each other, a-and I was an okay pilot at best, so we always got stuck together for flight simulators. He’d screw around in the comm spec seat most of the flight, and I’d crash the ship with my terrible flying or pass out a-and then crash the ship. B-but it worked out in a weird way.” 

He inhaled for a moment, breath just barely hitching in his chest, “Th-then one day I got sick, and he got put in a group whose pilot was also gone that day. For some reason they stuck him in the pilot seat instead of just switching people around, a-and somehow he turned out to be this natural ace pilot! I-I mean, he still didn’t have a lot of experience, so he wasn’t perfect. B-But the instructors saw that he obviously had a lot of natural talent and stuck him into a super high-ranking class with a-all the other natural talent people. Once he got some, uh, actual training, his skills just went off the charts. That’s how he ended up getting on the Kerberos m-mission,” Evan finished, looking like he could’ve done without reliving it. 

The two other boys stood stunned for a few moments. Then Michael tentatively spoke, “Okay, but that still doesn’t explain you bagging on him five minutes after he gets back to earth.”

Evan sighed heavily, “Yeah, it, uh, doesn’t take a genius to figure out that your f-friend suddenly getting put in a class miles above you isn’t exactly great for a friendship. W-We never saw each other except for in our dorm room, a-and he was always so tired or stressed out or off at some top secret meeting that we didn’t talk much. The stress went to his head a-and the prestige went to his ego, I guess. He kind of turned into an asshole.”

“Was he an asshole before?” Michael asked.

“Um, maybe ‘asshole’ wasn’t the right word for it.” Evan mused, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, “I think the phrase he used was ‘friendly neighborhood prick.” He smiled a little at the memory. But the expression quickly faded. “Anyway, we um, had this really bad argument one day. Maybe we could’ve worked it out… but it happened the night before the Kerberos mission.” 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Evan paused and shifted uncomfortably as an awkward silence took hold. “N-Normally I would’ve just blamed it on Jared being a jerk a-and waited for him to feel bad enough to apologize, b-but after we got the news that the mission was lost and everyone on it was assumed dead…”

“You felt like shit?” Michael offered in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Pretty much.”

“Wow,” Jeremy said, “that’s got to be the worst friend breakup I’ve ever heard.”

“Th-That’s putting it mildly.” Evan looked like he was going to continue, but one of the med techs spoke to Jared again.

“Do you know how long you’ve been gone?” they asked.

Jared twisted around in his restraints to glare at them, “I don't know. Months? Years? Look, we don’t have much time. Aliens are coming here for a weapon. They're probably on their way now to destroy everything! We have to find Voltron!”

“Voltron!?” the three of them shout-whispered.

“Sir, take a look at this. It appears his arm has been replaced with a cyborg prosthetic.” One of the assistants said, gesturing to Jared’s right arm. From his mid-bicep on down, what had once been flesh and bone was now panels of sleek grey metal shaped into a human arm. It moved as a normal arm would, shaking slightly as he clenched it into a fist.

“Put him under until we know what that thing can do.” one of the med techs ordered.

Jared blanched, looking like a cornered animal, “What the fuck?! No, no, no - no - don't put me under! No! Let me go!” He struggled harder against the restraints as one of the assistants came over with a nasty-looking syringe.

“What are they doing, they're not even gonna listen to him? He literally just crashed down in an alien space pod.” Michael asked in confusion as the three of them watched the needle plunge into Jared’s neck. He stopped moving almost immediately.

“W-We have to get him out.” Evan said decisively.

Jeremy stood up, “Not to rain on your parade or anything, but weren't we watching this on TV because there was no way to get past the guards?” he jabbed a had at the computer screen for emphasis.

Evan gazed at the med dome intently, “That was before we were properly motivated. We've just got to think.”

“Maybe we could get some hazmat suits and sneak in like med techs?” Michael offered.

“Or we could go just go back to the barracks since there’s literally no way for us to get in without being caught and expelled?”

“..No,” Evan shook his head, “We just need a distraction.”

BOOM BOOM BOOM

The three boys screamed as a savage series of explosions rocked the earth from several hundred meters away. Immediately Garrison crews began taking off towards the source of the blasts, leaving the domes unguarded in the process. 

Jeremy clung to Michael, “W-What the hell?! I-Is that the aliens?” he stammered out, the side of his face pressed against Michael’s in a manner that he would need many ‘No homo’s to make up for later.

“No, those explosions were a distraction, for him!” Michael gestured frantically to a lone figure pulling up near the domes on a hovercraft. “The Garrison's headed toward the blast, and he's sneaking in from the other side!” After a brief moment to check if the coast was clear, the figure hopped off and darted towards the unguarded structures. 

Evan scrambled for the binoculars and practically mashed them into his face, “What the—?” he said incredulously, “Oh no, he is not going to beat us in there! That jerk thinks he’s better than me?!” Off like a shot, he sprinted down the hillside after the figure without offering any explanation.

“Who is it?” Jeremy shouted after him.

“Connor Murphy!”

“WHAT?!”

“Are you sure?” Michael shout-asked as he grabbed Jeremy and took off after the boy.

“Oh, I’d recognize that stupid emo hair anywhere!” Evan said as the three of them slid down a smooth sheet of rock. They launched off it once they reached the bottom, and sprinted towards the dome as fast as their nerd legs could carry them.

\---

Several med techs stood beside an unconscious Jared’s exam table, peering in a mixture of wonderment and disbelief at the screen of the machine he was hooked up to. One of them spoke, “These readings are off the chart—”

The tech was cut short by the dome doors sliding open to reveal a very angry-looking Connor Murphy. Tall, clad almost entirely in black, and glaring at them with piercing violet eyes, he looked ready to murder anyone who dared stand in his way. Then he charged. A swift roundhouse kick sent the first tech flying, and several well-aimed punches dispatched the remaining two. Connor rushed over to where Jared lay on the exam table and reached out to touch him, but sharply recoiled after getting a good look at the boy. “What the fuck.” he breathed, standing there in shock. “Are you fucking kidding me.” He stayed like that for a few seconds, completely dumbfounded. Then he shook his head numbly and began walking back towards the door. “Of everyone on that mission, it had to be him?”

Not a moment later, Evan burst through the door, “Nope. No, you - No, no, no. No, you don't. I'm saving Jare—” He stopped short of bumping face-first into none other than Connor Murphy. But the boy almost didn’t seem to register his presence.

“I’m fucking done. I’m fucking done.” Evan heard Connor mutter under his breath.

“Wha— Done with what? What’s going on?” 

Connor whirled around, “You know what’s going on, Evan? I came here expecting Zoe or maybe your mom to come crashing down in that pod. Maybe both of them! Maybe the whole goddamn crew! But no, it had to be just your asshole “friend”, Jared fucking Kleinman.”

“W-Well don’t just walk away! Help me carry him—” He turned to look at Jared’s unconscious form on the exam table but nearly did a double take at what he saw. “O-Oh my God. What the fuck.” he said, freezing in place and staring at his friend in disbelief.

“Evan? What’s wrong?” Michael asked as he and Jeremy scooted into the dome.

Evan looked at Michael like he’d just asked what a tree was. He then proceeded to gesture emphatically at Jared, making several incoherent noises of shock and general bafflement before finally choking out, “He’s buff.”

A closer look at the guy proved him right. Jared had always been a bit on the scrawny side, but boy had that changed. The limbs that had once been rather noodly were now sculpted by powerful-looking, well-defined muscles. And as the bodysuit he wore left little to the imagination, once could clearly see the rippling pectorals and chiseled abs that lay beneath. None of that had been apparent over the video feed.

“Holy shit.” Jeremy and Michael breathed simultaneously. A faint blush dusted both their cheeks, and the same went for Evan— though Connor still wore a look somewhere between rage and shock as he processed what was happening.

“Wait— what the fuck are you doing here?” Connor asked accusingly.

Evan snorted, “Uh, saving Jared?” at Connor’s expression he dropped the attitude, “He may have been a-an asshole, b-but he’s still my friend.”

“Really.” Connor eyed Evan with something between distaste and pity, “Funny, I don’t usually befriend people who regularly make fun of my insecurities.” he said, pulling out a knife and cutting Jared free of the restraints. He slung the boy’s arm around his shoulder with the intent to carry him out of there— albeit begrudgingly.

“W-Well at least I don’t isolate m-myself from everyone who could ever possibly care about me.” the shorter boy said defensively, looping Jared’s other arm around his own shoulder. Wait, had he gotten... taller? Evan hoped to god it was just his imagination.

“Gee Hansen, I didn’t take you for such a hypocrite.”

He withered a bit under that, “Fine, c-call me whatever you want. G-Go ahead ignore the fact that y-you dropped out a-and I made it to fighter class.” 

“Well, congratu-fucking-lations.” Connor replied scathingly as he started walking Jared’s limp body out of the dome. Evan tried to match his step while shouldering some of the boy’s weight, despite being several inches shorter than Connor— he’d be damned if he let that emo jerk take all the credit for saving his friend.

Jeremy and Michael exchanged a brief look before rushing outside to check on the guard situation. Upon seeing the massive fire roaring where the explosions had gone off, Michael whipped out the pair of binoculars and peered into its blistering core. He could just make out the whole squadron of armed guards and their equally-as-armed ATVs racing back towards them. “Oh, man. They're coming back and they do not look happy. We've got to go.” he said urgently as Evan and Connor emerged from the dome. 

“Uh, do you mind if we catch a ride with you?” Jeremy asked as he and Michael ran after them. Connor said nothing in response as he and Evan hoisted Jared onto the hovercraft, so everyone took that to mean ‘yes’ and hopped on as well. It shuddered dangerously and Jeremy piped up, “Is this thing going to be big enough for all of us?”

“No.” Connor growled. The hovercraft whirred angrily in agreement. His scowl deepened—if that was even possible at this point— as the Garrison crews rolled up towards them, headlights piercing the darkness. Connor flipped a switch and the engine screamed to life. The craft lifted itself into the air and took off at breakneck speed in the opposite direction as its occupants held on for dear life.

“Y-You hold him!” Evan shouted, thrusting Jared into Michael’s arms as he clung to the side of the craft for dear life. He turned to look at their pursuers, “C-Can’t this thing go any faster?!”

“We could toss out some non-essential weight.” Connor said pointedly.

“Oh, th-that’s— wait.” Evan frowned as the insult registered. He looked hurt but didn’t reply.

Connor ignored him, “Hey Tallass, lean left!” he shouted to Jeremy, who was perched high on the back of the hovercraft.

The boy screeched in exasperation, “WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP CALLING ME THAT?!” nevertheless, he obliged. Everyone screamed as the hovercraft swerved sharply to the left and the Garrison cruisers following it tried to do the same, but one of them turned too quickly and tumbled on its side with a loud CRONCH. One could only hope its drivers were okay. The hovercraft soared around a corner and onto a narrow cliffside where on the right, a large ravine separated it from another, lower cliffside partially covered by an overhang. It looked like someone had carved half a tunnel into the cliff.

“Lean right!” Connor shouted above the din. 

Jeremy did, and they all screamed bloody murder as Connor swerved off the cliffside, over the ravine, and plunged towards the narrow opening into the tunnel. Miraculously they crashed down alive. With no time to lose, they sped through the tunnel as the two remaining cruisers followed close behind, kicking up mountains of dust and rock as they skidded across the ground. A few hundred meters more and the half-tunnel’s ceiling ended, putting them on a sharply curved stretch of earth under a beautiful evening sky. Wind whipped through their hair and grit stung their faces as Connor pressed down on the accelerator. Distance was rapidly being put between them and the Garrison cruisers. Only one problem. 

“Is that a cliff up ahead?!” Jeremy shrieked, pointing in terror. Sure enough, they were rapidly running out of ground and the drop ahead looked like a suicide jump.

“Oh, no, nO, NO!” Evan and Michael screamed in unison.

Connor grinned, “Yup.”

Then he floored it.

The hovercraft surged off the edge of the cliff, and for a brief moment, soared through the air like a majestic eagle. The cruisers skidded to a halt just at the edge of the cliff. Then everyone— save Connor— began to scream as they plummeted toward the ground.

“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU’RE GONNA KILL US ALL!” Evan screamed over the wind.

“Fuck off!” Connor yelled as the hovercraft found purchase on the steep slope of the cliff. He made another jump off a much smaller cliff that came up, and sped off once they finally hit a solid stretch of earth. Finally, they were safe. The terrain from here on out was mostly plains with some smaller hills and sand dunes mixed in, so it looked to be relatively smooth sailing. They rode like that for a while, in total silence. Then they came across a small cottage in the middle of nowhere and Connor began to slow down. 

The cottage itself looked nice, if a little neglected. It was made of pale stone, with plenty of indigo-shuttered windows to let in natural light on both of its two floors. A few shrubs in need of pruning dotted the corners of the house, and a pot of succulents sat untended but still thriving next to the door. It looked surprisingly homey for being so secluded. But it seemed distinctly un-Connor-like.

“You live here?” Jeremy asked tentatively. It was clear that the others had the same question on their minds.

Connor seemed like he’d been expecting that. “Pretty much,” he hopped off the hovercraft, “Is there a problem?” he asked somewhat confrontationally. He clearly wasn’t looking for a fight, but anyone who pressed the issue much further was gonna get one. [1]

“N-No, just uh, making conversation.” Jeremy replied hastily. An awkward silence permeated the area, and the tension became so thick you could use that idiom about cutting it with a knife.

The silence persisted until Evan noticed that Jared was stirring and saw his chance, “Well, uh,” he cleared his throat momentarily, “W-We should probably get Jared off there.” He gestured to Jared before hopping off the hovercraft and motioning for Michael to lift the boy down. There was a mutual mental sigh of relief as the tension diffused. 

“Hey, be careful.” Evan warned as Connor came over to help lay Jared down in the shade of the cottage.

Connor scoffed, “Oh, what am I gonna do, break him?”

“With y-your track record on the simulator I w-wouldn’t be surprised,” Evan replied, “Y-You’re the most reckless pilot I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up. Even if I did drop him he probably wouldn’t even feel it— and I could give less of a shit either way.” he gestured to Jared, “I mean, he’s built like Captain America for fuck’s sake.” He paused and frowned, “I swear to god I’m gonna find whoever made that happen and punt them off a cliff. It’s obscene.”

The corner of Evan’s mouth quirked up in a brief smile. It was probably the most civil thing Connor had said in Evan’s general direction for a long time. Evan’s gaze remained on Jared, but his eyes drifted to the robotic arm, and the not-quite smile was quickly replaced by a frown.

“What I don’t get,” Michael mused, also staring at Jared’s new prosthetic, “is why the hell aliens would capture him, keep him prisoner for a year, and then just dump him back on earth with a cybernetic arm. The whole thing sounds shady.”

“Well duh, they’re evil aliens. Of course it’s gonna sound shady.” said Jeremy.

“That’s not just it. Think for a second: we’re talking about an insanely advanced alien race here. Why would they take someone prisoner, and then give them something that can be used as a weapon against them? I mean, just look at his arm!” Michael gestured wildly at it, “That thing could probably crush solid steel like a soda can! Imagine what it could do to a living being!”

Slowly, Jared began to wake, “Wh—What the...? Where am I?...” he spoke, cursing under his breath as he put a hand to his neck where the sedation needle had gone in. Everyone’s faces lit up in emotions ranging from annoyance to curiosity to relief as they watched him regain consciousness.

“Uh, h-hey man?” Evan tried, “W-Welcome back?”

“Evan?” Jared sat up, a little wobbly from the sedative, “How did…” he blinked a few times and trailed off as the boy’s image came into full focus. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“Yeah, um, y-your guess is as good as mine.” Evan began, “W-We saw the pod crash down from the sky a-and rescued you from that dome the Garrison put up.” He gestured to his companions in acknowledgement. Jeremy and Michael each gave a little wave, while Connor merely rolled his eyes and glared down at Jared. Evan offered a hand to help him up. God damn it, Jared had gotten taller. Before the Kerberos mission he’d been around 5’7” and endlessly bitter about it. Now he was only about an inch shorter than Connor. Absolutely not, Evan thought, quoting one of Jared’s signature lines in a sort of cruel irony. Now he was the shortest of the group. 

Jared, completely unaware of Evan’s mental struggle, brushed himself off and adjusted his glasses as he stood. “Okay Ev, you rescuing me I get, but him?” he said, gesturing to Connor, “We both hated each other’s guts last time I checked. I mean— did we have some kind of weird bonding moment that I completely forgot about?”

“Fuck no.” Connor spat. “Believe me, if I had known it was going to be you in that pod, I would’ve stayed home.”

“Oh don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.”

“Guys!” Evan put his arms out in a placatory gesture, putting some distance between Connor and Jared in the process, “I-I think we need to focus on the bigger picture here.” He turned to Jared, “W-What happened out there? Where were you?” His voice was laced with concern and more than a little shaky.

“Ugh. Hell if I know.” Jared sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a splitting headache, “My head's still pretty scrambled. I was on an alien ship, but somehow I escaped. That’s all I can remember. It's kind of a blur right now.” 

Evan, Jeremy, and Michael all looked mildly disappointed at this lack of information, but Connor furrowed his brow like he’d just come to an unpleasant realization. A few moments of silence passed. Then he cleared his throat and spoke, “Well, as unhelpful as that description was… I’ve been looking into something that might be related to your alien shit.” Begrudgingly, he motioned for everyone to come into the cottage. “You should probably see this.”


	4. In Which Connor Regrets Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh yes jared work that space unitard

“What the hell have you been working on?” Jared asked, staring at the web of photographs, drawings, and various sticky notes plastered across a wall of the cottage’s living room.  “I know you’ve always cultivated that possibly-psychotic loner persona, but this is freaky even for you.”

 

Connor scowled, “Do you want me to kick you out?”

 

“Pfft, I’d like to see you try.” Jared crowed, flashing his best shit-eating grin and raising a cocky eyebrow. “Scrawny emo dude versus  _ these _ guns?” he flexed his annoyingly muscular bicep for emphasis, “I don’t think so.”  

 

“I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”

 

“Kinky.”

 

Evan grimaced and butted in, “S-So, C-Connor, how about those photographs?” he gave the boy a pleading look not to rise to the bait.

 

Connor returned his gaze for a few agonizing seconds.  His face was unreadable.   Then he turned to face the mass of pictures.  “ _ Anyway _ .  I found a bunch of strange shit out there in the desert.  Mostly carvings.  None of them look like anything from any religion or society that we know of.” he gestured to a collection of photos showing ancient-looking carvings on the walls of caves.  They all depicted variations of the same thing: a large, boxy, lion-like creature, often surrounded by primitive  humans or strange, flying entities.  The rest of the photos were of notable locations or rock formations, though what that had to do with the carvings was unclear.

 

Jared studied the photos carefully for any connections, any memories stirred.  Nothing so far.  He considered taking a crack at Connor’s apparent photography hobby, but figured he’d hold off on it until he learned what this all weird secret shit was about.  Besides, he could only take so many shots at the J.D. wannabe until somebody *cough* Evan got on his case about it.  

 

“How did you find all this?” Evan asked.  He phrased it carefully, like he was afraid of how Connor might react.

 

“Yeah, it’s in the middle of a desert surrounded by miles and miles of the same boring rock structures.” Jared chimed in.  He paused and snickered, obviously having pictured something funny, “I mean, did you just wander around high off your ass sticking your head in every cave you passed by?”

 

Connor’s hand twitched toward the knife still sheathed in his belt, “I  _ will _ stab you Kleinman, I swear to god—”

 

“GUYS!” Evan shouted, “C-Can we please stay focused?  Jared, s-stop talking before I regret saving you from that dome.  Connor, continue.”

 

Connor’s murderous look persisted a few more seconds.  He took a moment to compose himself, taking a deep breath before addressing the others  “I can't explain it, really.  After getting booted from the Garrison, I was kind of lost and for some reason I felt drawn out to this place.  It's like something... some energy, was telling me to search.”

 

“For what?” asked Evan.

 

“Well, I didn't really know at the time... until I stumbled across this area.”  Connor pulled out a larger picture from the  pile and gestured to it, “This is the cave system where all those weird carvings are. Each tells a slightly different story about a blue lion, but they all share clues leading to some event— some arrival happening last night.” He looked back at Jared, “Then you showed up.”

 

There was a lull in the conversation as everyone’s eyes drifted to Jared.  He shifted uncomfortably under the attention.

 

Michael cleared his throat, “So, uh, did anyone else from your crew make it out?”

 

Jared shook his head, a shadow of worry crossing his face, “I don’t know.  I remember the mission and being captured.  After that, it's just bits and pieces.” he paused, “Oh, and uh, thanks for getting me out of there.  It’s Michael, right?” he extended his right hand— the prosthetic one— to shake.  

 

Michael regarded it hesitantly a moment before offering a smile and extending his own.  “Yep, that’d be me.  The sweaty nervous guy is Jeremy.”

 

“I’m not sweaty!  And excuse me if I’m a little freaked out at the thought of creepy evil aliens who could descend on earth at any minute to kill us all!” He briefly turned to peer out the window before looking back at Evan, “Uh… are they planning to descend on us?  I mean, where are they?” he asked.

 

Jared frowned, “I have no idea.  I remember the word "Voltron." It's some kind of weapon they're looking for— I don't know why.  But whatever it is, we should probably find it before they do.”

 

Jeremy considered this carefully, “You know… I got a look at Evan’s weird diary when we were out on the roof of the Garrison—”

 

“You  _ what?! _ ” Evan cried.

 

“—and I noticed the repeating series of numbers the aliens are searching for looks a lot like a Fraunhofer line.”

 

Connor raised an eyebrow, “A frown what?”

 

“It's a number describing the emission spectrum of an element, only, this element doesn't exist on Earth.” Jeremy explained, “I thought it might be this Voltron.  And I think we can build a machine to look for it, like a Voltron Geiger counter.”

 

“Okay, that’s cool and all, but where were those freaky science smarts when you were busy falling out of your chair because you forgot to put on your  _ seatbelt _ ?” Michael complained.

 

“It’s not  _ my  _ fault you’re a terrible pilot!” Jeremy said before pausing to scowl at Michael, “Anyway, the emission spectrum for this Voltron thing  is pretty interesting.  The wavelength looks like this.” he said, pulling out a piece of paper where he’d sketched a graph of the Fraunhofer line.

 

“Give me that.” Connor snatched the paper away and held it up to a picture of a rocky outcropping where he’d found some of the carvings.  The graph matched the outline of the rocks almost perfectly.

 

Evan’s eyes widened, “What the— where is that?” 

 

“Around here.” Connor replied.

 

“...C-Could you be more specific?”

 

“Not really.  I could find it eventually if we walked around long enough, but I don’t have an exact map of where all this shit is.”

 

“We’re going there.” Jared decided, “That Geiger counter thing would act like a GPS, right?” he asked Jeremy, who nodded in response, “Alright then.  Let’s build that shit and get a move on.”

 

“O-Okay, but who’s gonna build it?” Evan asked.  A few moments passed, and everyone’s eyes drifted to him.  He  _ was _ the only engineer of the group.

 

“Oh come on.”

 

**\---An Hour Later---**

 

“F-For the record, you’re all terrible people.” Evan said as he put the finishing touches on the ‘Voltron Geiger counter’.

 

“Uh, I think you mispronounced  _ ‘best’ _ **.** ”  Jared quipped, gesturing to himself.  He was lounging on the couch while Jeremy and Michael were sat up against the wall and leaning on each other.  Connor had been hovering around the room like a dark emo cloud.  He and Evan had been stealing glances at one another over the past hour, and every once in awhile they would make awkward eye contact.    

 

“Absolutely n-not.”

 

“So is this thing done yet or what?” Connor huffed impatiently.

 

Evan stopped working on the device— which was essentially done, but could stand a little tweaking— and gave Connor a look.  Then he spoke in a purposefully stilted tone as though absolutely nothing were wrong, “O-Oh, well it’s  _ almost _ done, but I still need a few more minutes to work on it.”  He paused for dramatic effect.

 

Connor raised an eyebrow, “...And?”

 

“Well,” Evan began, “I-If we’re gonna go hiking out in the desert in the dead of night on an adventure of questionable safety, I d-don’t think we can just leave  _ poor _ Jared in these…” he twisted around to look at the boy’s odd unitard, “...space rags.”

 

Jared turned over at the mention of his name and looked down at his outfit, “Yeah, as much fun as it is to be able to subject you all to my newly-awesome physique 24/7, I’m gonna get a space wedgie or something if I’m stuck in this thing much longer.”

 

Evan nodded sagely, as though Jared had just dispensed some kind of like-changing wisdom.  If one paid close attention, they could see the barest trace of a smile cross his face.

 

“Is there some reason you’re bringing this up?” Connor said, eyeing Evan suspiciously, “It’s not like any of us have Jared’s clothes around, and even if for some horrifying reason we did, they wouldn’t fit him.”

 

“O-Of course.  But... seeing as you and Jared seem to be a-almost the same height now.”  he said all this slowly, with another pause for dramatic effect as he sized both of them up “He could—”

 

“ _ Hansen. _ ”

 

“—Possibly—”

 

“Don’t you fucking _ dare _ finish that sentence.”

 

“—Fit into—”

 

“I swear to god—”

 

“—Your clothes.” Evan finished, allowing the barest trace of a grin to flit across his lips.  

 

Connor looked like he’d never craved death more than this very moment.  “Tell me you’re joking.”

 

“Oh, I couldn’t be m-more serious.” said Evan, “Hypothermia is no laughing matter.”

 

Jared sat upright, currently torn between disgust and hysterical laughter.  Michael and Jeremy were rapt with attention, quiety watching the spectacle unfold from their gay little corner.

 

“ _ Fuck _ no.  I’m not letting that dipshit wear my clothes.”

 

“Huh.  I-I guess we won’t be able to go find Voltron then.” Evan started to stand up, “I-It’s such a shame really; the m-machine was so close to being finished.”

 

“Come on, Evan.”

 

“No, no, it’s alright.” He waved Connor off, backing towards the door, “I-I’m sure you’ve got plenty of other engineer friends who can help.” 

 

“For fuck’s sake—”

 

“But who knows?  M-Maybe you’ll never find out what all those carvings are for.”

 

Connor glared daggers at the boy for what seemed like an eternity.  Then he leaned against the wall in defeat and gave an irritated sigh.  “...You’re a terrible person.”

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“ _ Fine. _ ”

 

Jared glanced over at Evan, surprised, impressed, and slightly concerned for multiple reasons.  “If he shanks me or something I’m blaming it on you.” he said, before following Connor back to his room.

 

**\---A Few Minutes Later---**

 

“I gotta say Connor, I’m surprised there weren’t  _ more _ black hoodies in your closet.  Did you get banned from Hot Topic or something?” Jared said as he sauntered back into the living room.  He wore a dark grey t-shirt under an unzipped henley-style hoodie, with red sleeves and a grey torso.  Curiously though, over his jeans, he wore the boots from his space outfit.

 

“Don’t talk to me.” Connor said, looking like the boy’s very presence was giving him a migraine, compounded upon by the fact that he was wearing some of Connor’s clothes, “I’m 99% certain that every time you open your mouth, a kitten gets brutally murdered and another tiny part of me dies.”

 

“That’d make you a zombie millions of times over by now.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

The others all looked over Jared’s new outfit as he and Connor traded banter, but stopped in horror upon seeing his now-exposed neck.  The neckline of the space suit went so high that it hadn’t been visible before, but now, where there should’ve been normal skin, there were now three jagged slash scars cutting across his throat.  

 

Jeremy gasped, “What happened to your neck?!”

 

Jared looked taken aback for a second.  Then he realized what the boy was talking about, “Oh, that.  Yeah, I got it…” a puzzled expression came over his face as he struggled to recall the origin of his scar.  “...I actually don’t remember.  Fighting someone, I guess?” Jared shrugged and waved off the question.  

 

He wasn’t being completely truthful, though.  No, he couldn’t remember how he got the scar for the life of him.  But he did remember the pain.  Blinding, white-hot, and accompanied by the sickening feeling of drowning in his own blood.  

 

Not exactly the kind of story you share with your friends.

 

“Horrifying yet mysterious injuries aside, is the Geiger counter thing finished yet?” Jared asked Evan, who was still staring at his throat scar and undoubtedly scaring himself silly imagining all the gruesome ways it could’ve come about.

 

“Wha—O-Oh, yeah.  It’s ready now.”

 

“Great.  Then let’s get moving.”

 

**-Somewhere in the Desert-**

 

“Okay, I admit it.  This is super freaky.”  Jared said, crossing his arms as he and the others stared up at the rock formations.  Michael carried a small satellite dish that was part of Voltron-Geiger-Counter device.  Jeremy held the small box that was connected to it.  The box was about the size and shape of a handheld radio, and it began to emit a ticking noise as they neared the massive sandstone mountains.

 

“Guys, I’m getting a reading.” said Jeremy.  With a look of determination, he forged ahead like a bloodhound on a scent trail, adjusting his course as the device’s ticking increased and decreased.  Michael dutifully followed behind, holding the satellite dish aloft like a beacon of nerdery.  The remaining boys shrugged and elected to follow the two of them without question.  They continued down the path until Jeremy led them through a narrow opening between two rock spires, when all of a sudden the device’s beeping intensified.  He and Michael darted forward, and the beeping hit its maximum as they approached a small yet promising cave entrance in the recess of a particularly large mesa.

 

“Woah…” Jeremy breathed.  His jaw dropped in a comical fashion and the device nearly followed suit before he remembered himself.  He and Michael shared a look of excitement, then shouted for the others to hurry up as they went ahead and dashed into the cave.  Not wanting to be left behind, Evan, Connor, and Jared jogged after them.  

 

The interior of the cave was covered wall-to-wall in ancient carvings like the ones in Connor’s pictures.  Images of a massive lion-like creature dominated the murals, often accompanied by early humans fighting alongside or worshipping it.  A few even displayed the creature taking down strange flying creatures.

 

Evan stared at the scenes with a mixture of awe and confusion, “What are these?”

 

“These are the carvings I told you about.” Connor replied, “They’re everywhere around here.”

 

Jeremy looked around the interior of the cave with a delighted grin.  Everything about this smacked of a hero’s origin story just like the ones in his and Michael’s video games.  He stared at one carving in particular— a closeup of the lion’s head— for a moment before running a hand across the rough-hewn walls, brushing away the dust for a better look.  Suddenly, bright blue light radiated out from where he touched the stone, travelling along the carvings and filling the tunnel with an otherworldly glow. “Woah!” he exclaimed, backing away from the wall.

 

The five of them tensed up and crowded close together, eyes widening at the sight. “They’ve never done that before.” Connor said, reaching for his knife.  The cave began to rumble ominously, but stopped almost as soon as it had begun.

 

Then the floor dropped out.


	5. In Which Jeremy is a Surprisingly Not Terrible Pilot

If asked about it later, Evan, Connor, Jared, Jeremy, and Michael would all vehemently deny that they screamed like little babies as they fell. But while they all did in fact, scream like little babies, Jared screamed loudest and highest of all. This is the only thing they will agree on. Save for Jared, of course.

\---

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” they all screamed, plunging into darkness. For a moment they were in freefall, but then the five of them touched down on the sharp incline of a small waterfall and shot down it like the world’s most uncomfortable log flume. Terror and adrenaline raced through their veins. Water splashed everywhere, completely drenching the boys and leaving them freezing cold. They skidded down the waterfall for what seemed like an eternity before an opening finally came up ahead. They shot out the opening and tumbled 15 feet into a large but shallow pool of water, screaming bloody murder all the while.

For a moment they just sat there in the pool, stunned from the sudden impact, the freezing cold, and the adrenaline overload. A deathly silence filled the air. It was punctuated only by the dripping of water and the shaky breathing of five traumatized boys. But as he shook the water from his hair, Jeremy was the first to look up and see the massive, robotic blue lion standing before them. He gasped, and the others turned to see it. A huge, tessellated force field formed a protective dome over the lion, glowing blue just like the intricate carvings surrounding it.

“You weren’t kidding,” Jeremy gasped, “They are everywhere.” 

“Is this it?” Evan asked in a voice even smaller than usual, “Is this the Voltron?”

“It has to be.” said Jared, adjusting his glasses. “Looks like there’s a particle barrier around it.”

Connor stared up at the massive creature apprehensively, “This must be what’s been causing all of this crazy energy out here.” He stood first and looked down at the others. His eyes flickered briefly to Evan, and for a moment it looked like he wanted to offer him a hand. But then he turned away and began walking towards the lion. Jeremy, Michael, and Jared rose after, and the five of them began approaching it cautiously.

“Does anyone else get the feeling this is staring at them?” Jeremy asked, moving side to side as he and the others walked towards it.

“Uh, no?” Michael gave Jeremy a strange look.

“No, no, dude the eyes are totally following me.”

“It doesn’t even have pupils,” said Jared, “I don’t think its eyes can follow you.”

Jeremy said nothing in reply, but he continued to eye the beast as they approached the barrier.

“How the hell do we get through this?” asked Connor, placing his hands on the barrier. Mystical blue energy rippled through it at his touch, but remained otherwise solid. He turned begrudgingly to Jared, “Did you ever come across one of these force field things while you were…” He made an upward gesture with his hand, “... out there?”

Jared shook his head, “For the last time, I don’t know. Even if I remembered, I doubt I’d know how to deactivate it.” There was some venom behind it, but mostly he just seemed bitter and a little confused.

Evan stared at the two of them, dreading another snarky repartee. But fortunately, Connor said nothing. He breathed a mental sigh of relief at not having to play peacemaker and babysitter for two people with whom his relationships were complicated at best.

Meanwhile, Michael and Jeremy studied the barrier with the practiced air of someone who pretends to know what they’re looking at, but in reality is completely clueless. Jeremy regarded the lion as though it might eat him. 

“Maybe you just have to knock,” Jeremy said jokingly, stepping forward and rapping a few times on the barrier. Not a moment later, it began to dissolve where he’d touched it. “AGH!” He leapt back, and the others gasped in shock. Jared and Jeremy both shrieked in surprise as they hurriedly scrambled backward. Blue light shot up from the carvings, bathing the cave in a supernatural glow as the barrier dissipated and a thrumming energy washed over them.

Then the lion’s eyes flashed gold, and everyone’s heads filled with a vision. They saw five mechanical lions flying in formation, and locking together, transforming into a colossal robot warrior who wielded a flaming sword with deadly power. The vision ended. The five of them were yanked back to reality, and they stared up at the blue lion with renewed awe.

Jeremy whipped around to look at his companions, “Uh, did everyone just see that?”

“Voltron is a robot!” Michael cried, pumping his fist in the air, “Voltron is a huge, huge, awesome robot!” His eyes shone with all the sci-fi delight of a Trekkie on the Starship Enterprise.

“A-And this thing is just part of it,” Evan cut in, “I wonder where the rest of them are.”

Jared stared at the blue lion in shock, “This is what they’re looking for.”

“It’s amazing.” Connor said, taking a step towards the creature— but was abruptly cut off by the lion coming to life. It lowered it massive head to the ground and opened its mouth. The front panel of its mouth lowered to form a staircase leading inside.

“Oh HELL yes!” Jeremy cried, dashing up the stairs. When the lion didn’t suddenly crush or eat the boy at his approach, Jared shrugged and moved to follow him. Michael, Evan, and Connor remained where they were for a few moments and warily watched them enter the lion, before each giving a mental shrug of resignation and going in after them.

\---

On any normal day, if you asked Jeremy to run into the gaping maw of a giant robotic lion, he’d think you were crazy and start slowly backing away from you and said lion.

But today was not a normal day.

When the lion first activated, lowering its head and opening its weird staircase-mouth thing, Jeremy felt this energy… this presence enter his mind. It seemed benevolent. Almost familiar— sort of like an old friend he’d never met. He couldn’t explain it, really. But somehow he knew it was the lion beckoning him to come inside. He eagerly darted up the stairs and found himself inside the lion’s head. It looked to be a high-tech cockpit of sorts. There was a pilot’s chair, loads of panels and buttons, and a glass front to see out of— all of which were tinged blue. Perhaps the lion was some sort of ship? A war machine? Both? He peered around before settling into the chair, kicking back like he owned the place. 

Suddenly, the chair jerked forward. Jeremy nearly fell out. He just barely caught himself before his head slammed into the dashboard. He rubbed his head in annoyance as he looked up, but that was quickly replaced by awe when the panels and cockpit window came to life with holographic interfaces, all glowing blue, and marked with strange symbols from an alien language. He leaned forward to gawk at them as his friends filed into the back of the cockpit. “Guys, I think I’ve died and gone to sci-fi heaven.”

Michael gasped and ran up to the front, leaning over the back of Jeremy’s chair to peer with him at the ever-shifting readouts and interfaces. “Dude, I think we both died and went to sci-fi heaven. This is awesome!”

Jared pushed up the bridge of his glasses and snickered as though he were about to make an ill-timed reference, “Aw, that’s so sweet. Now you can swing upon the pearly gates and wear a pearly necklace together.”

“Did you just quote Heathers?” Connor asked incredulously.

Jared choked, “You listen to Heathers?!”

“Uh, guys?” Evan cut in, “You can hypocritically mock each other’s love of musicals later. But, um, right now I think just—just maybe we have more pressing matters to deal with. We’re literally inside a futuristic alien cat head.”

All of a sudden Jeremy stiffened as though he was having another vision. Everyone else seemed to disappear from the cockpit as a deep, rumbling purr filled his mind. Then the moment ended. He snapped back to reality. “Woah. Did you guys just hear that?”

“Hear what?” Connor asked

“I-I think it's talking to me!” Jeremy studied the controls for a moment with a gleam in his eye, then leaned forward and pressed a few buttons. Suddenly, the lion stood up and roared. It was a fierce sound, shaking the cave to its very foundations and causing the rest of the boys to stumble at the jarring of the cockpit. Jeremy, meanwhile, was unfazed. He grinned widely as the others stared at him in awe, “Okay. Got it. Now let's try this.” 

He took hold of the control sticks and shoved them forward, and the lion plunged through the side of the mountain and out into the open, arcing and diving through the air with all the grace of a wounded duck. This time, Jeremy was not the only one screaming. The lion careened towards the ground, but rocket boosters flared in its paws just before impact, allowing it to catch itself. It soared up into the sky, barrel rolling several times in a row at speeds that would’ve made humanity’s fastest ships look like paper airplanes.

“I love you man, but YOU ARE — THE WORST — PILOT — EVER!” Michael screamed, clutching onto the pilot seat and Jeremy’s hair for dear life. Everyone save for Jeremy was getting tossed around like a blender. Evan looked like he was about to pass out as he braced himself against the wall and the pilot’s chair. Connor looked like he was regretting all recent life choices as he slammed into Evan, and the only reason Jared was still standing was that he’d grabbed Jeremy’s sweater and was now in the process of accidentally strangling the boy.

\-- Meanwhile, on a nearby plateau --

“Oh — my — GOD! What the devil is that?!” Commander Reyes sputtered, gaping at the massive mechanical beast soaring through the skies around the Galaxy Garrison.

His lieutenant lowered the binoculars he’d been peering through, “It appears to be a flying blue lion, sir.” 

Commander Reyes glared over at the lieutenant, who shrugged in response. He was definitely not getting paid enough for this.

\---

“Isn’t this awesome?” Jeremy shouted above the din of mechanical sounds and bodies slamming into each other.

Evan had found purchase on one of the cockpit walls and was currently blanching the color of freshly fallen snow, “Make it stop. MAKE IT STOP.” Given his history on the simulator, he was probably about two seconds away from passing out.

“I’m not making it do anything. It’s like it’s on autopilot or something!” Jeremy replied, still grinning.

Connor staggered against the G-forces and managed to right himself, “Where are you even going?!” he shouted. The lion had leveled out and was now flying straight up through the atmosphere. Technically, they should’ve all fallen to the back of the cockpit, but the interior of the lion somehow seemed to have its own gravity.

“I just said it's on autopilot!” Jeremy paused and cocked his head like he was listening to something. He paled. “It says there's an alien ship approaching Earth... I think we're supposed to stop it.”

“What did it say, exactly?” asked Jared.

Jeremy shrugged, “Well it's not like it's saying words, more like feeding ideas into my brain, kind of.” He made a vague gesture with his hands in an attempt to convey the inexplicable nature of his and the lion’s connection.

Michael bit his lip, “Well if this thing is the weapon they're coming for, shouldn’t we just give it to them? Maybe they'll leave us alone.” His companions glared at him, and he withered slightly, “Look, as long as we don’t have this weird alien supertech, we’re probably not on any galactic empire’s radar. Earth is like a 0.75 on the Kardashev scale at best— technically we’re a Type 0 civilization. But if this lion is a hot commodity like you say it is, Earth is suddenly gonna be on everybody’s radar, and we don’t have the means to stop an alien invasion.” 

A deathly silence fell over the ship as they considered the weight of Michael’s statement. Then Jared sighed and began, “Look— you don’t understand. These monsters— they spread like a plague throughout the galaxy, destroying everything in their path. They’d shoot you in the face and laugh at your corpse if you tried to reason with them. They won't stop until everything is dead.” His cybernetic hand had dug slightly into the metal of the ship. 

“Oh... Never mind then.” Michael said, looking like he wanted to disappear into his hoodie.

The blue lion roared as it exited the Earth’s atmosphere, and the five of them stared out the cockpit’s windows in awe at the stark beauty of open space. For a moment, everything was quiet.

Then it all went to shit.

A vast, menacing alien spaceship warped into existence right in front of them. The blue lion rumbled with displeasure, and the crew’s expressions morphed from awe to abject horror at the sight.

“Holy shit! I-Is that really an alien ship?" Michael cried as Jeremy maneuvered the lion around the massive spacecraft.

“Ohhh fuck. They found me.” Jared said, dawning terror in his voice. 

Suddenly, the craft began firing. Dozens of deadly energy blasts whizzed by as Jeremy hurriedly fumbled with the controls and the lion shook from the near misses. Evan grabbed the back of his chair, “Get us out of here!” he cried.

“Hang on!” Jeremy yelled, yanking back on the control sticks and sending the lion spiraling upwards, dodging and weaving between the beams with immense agility. Thrusters in its hind legs kicked in, propelling them away at top speed. “Okay, I think I know what to do!” 

Michael grimaced as he scanned the field, “Be careful man, this isn’t a simulator!”

“Well that’s good, otherwise you’d be flying this and we’d all be dead!” Jeremy laughed nervously, ducking between laser blasts as he headed towards the top of the spacecraft— presumably out of firing range. The ship readied its larger particle cannon and fired at the blue lion, but Jeremy whirled it around, charged up an energy beam in the lion’s mouth, and fired it in response. The blast slammed into the ship with savage force and tore a massive gash down the side, sparking dozens of explosions along the tear containing such force that they felt it even inside the lion. “Okay, let’s try this.” Jeremy pulled back on the controls and soared upwards again, arcing over the lines of laser blasts and diving in close to the ship. The lion raked its claws along the side, ripping up the ship even further and causing even more explosions along its path of destruction.

Michael grinned, “Nice job, Jere!”

Jeremy wasn’t done yet. “Okay, I think it’s time we got these guys away from our planet.” He swung the lion around and sped away from Earth, daring the alien ship to follow.

\---

“Lord Zarkon, the escaped prisoner and his people found the lion. It attacked us and is heading out of the system.” A purple alien soldier addressed the dark hologram at the bow of his ship, yellow eyes steeled with determination.

A deep, threatening voice emanated from the figure in the hologram, “Follow that lion and alert all ships in the area to intercept. Capturing that lion is your first and only priority.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” as the projection flickered off, the soldier turned to command his crew, “Full power after the lion!”

\---

“Oh, come on!” Jared cursed as he watched the alien ship chasing after them.

Evan clenched his fists anxiously, “Th-they’re gaining on us!”

“That’s weird,” Jeremy knit his brow in confusion as he looked back at the ship. “They're not trying to shoot us. They're just chasing.”

“Who cares if they’re not shooting?” Michael cried, “Just get us the hell out of here!”

“Where are we?” asked Connor.

“Edge of the solar system.” Jared answered, peering out the windows, “There’s Kerberos.” He gestured to their right at a large sphere of ice and rock, not unlike Earth’s moon.

Michael gawked at the sight, “It takes months for our ships to get out this far. We got out here in five seconds.” he said incredulously, “We’d have to be going at least twice the speed of light!” Having put quite a bit of distance between them and the alien warship, Jeremy began to slow the lion down. But just as he did so, a wormhole burst into existence before them. It seemed to be less a wormhole in the “black hole on one end and hypothetical “white hole” on the other” sense of the word and more of an “arcane rift in spacetime” wormhole. Strange geometric designs rotated in neat concentric circles around the edge, radiating blue light not unlike that of the blue lion’s energy blast. The inside looked like a galaxy-toned whirlpool, with clouds of purple, blue, black, and white swirling slowly into the center.

“W-What’s that?” asked Evan.

Jeremy blinked, “Uh, this may seem crazy, but I think the lion wants us to go through there!” It sounded like he wasn’t too sure about the idea himself.

“You’re right, it does seem crazy. Where does it go?” asked Jared.

“I-I don't know.” Jeremy stared ahead uncertainly, “Jared, you're the senior officer here. What do we do?”

There was brief pause before he replied, “Pretty sure the lion knows more than we do.” he glanced over the rest of the crew “Look, I think we should trust it, but we're stuck together whether we like it or not. We should decide together.” 

Everyone remained quiet for a moment, sharing a mutual look of agreement and turning expectantly towards Jeremy. He shifted uncomfortably under the attention but adjusted his grip on the controls and steeled his gaze in determination. 

“All right, guess we’re all ditching class tomorrow.” he said, then plunged them into the wormhole.


	6. In Which These Morons Should've Tested the Air to See if it was BREATHABLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how are they not dead yet
> 
> also gay

Fortunately, the wormhole closed just before the alien ship could pass through it, but Evan, Connor, Jared, Jeremy, and Michael were too busy screaming to notice.  The blue lion shook violently as they shot through the tunnel, and the five of them clung for dear life to anything they could reach while intensely regretting all recent life choices.  After what seemed like an eternity, they emerged from the other side unharmed, if a little queasy and frightened.  Jeremy was the first to speak. 

 

“Whoa.  I don’t know if that was awesome or horrible.”

 

Michael groaned, “Horrible.  Definitely horrible.”  He looked like he was trying very hard not to throw up.

 

Jared peered out the windows, “I don't recognize any of these constellations.  We must be a  _ long  _ ways from Earth.”  This would have been a very astute observation, had there not been an obviously foreign planet right in front of them.  It looked almost eerily earthlike.

 

“The lion seems to want to go to this planet.  I think... I think it's going home.” Jeremy said.  The lion immediately made a beeline for the planet.  A few peaceful moments passed.  But as it hit the atmosphere, a fiery red-orange cone formed around the tip of the lion, and it began to encounter air resistance as they broke the cloud layer and headed towards the surface.  The cockpit of the lion shook violently as though it were a shake-weight being tossed around by an angry toddler.

 

“Guys!  Personal space!” Jeremy cried as everyone clung to his chair.

 

Evan was sweating bullets, “Um, i-is it just me o-or is anyone else having s-second thoughts about f-flying through a mysterious wormhole?”

 

“It got us away from that alien warship, didn't it?” said Jared 

 

Connor rose as the lion leveled out and the shaking began to cease. “I don't know if you noticed, but we're  _ in  _ an alien warship.”

 

Jared scoffed, “Oh, are you scared?” 

 

“More like concerned.  If you were at the helm, I’d be terrified.” Connor said, words dripping with venom.

 

Jared’s eyes narrowed at that, “Face it, dropout: I’m the better pilot.  You’re just bitter that I got picked to go on the Kerberos mission over you.”

 

“Of course I am—” Connor seethed, “I wouldn’t have let fucking  _ aliens _ capture my entire goddamn crew!”

 

Evan tried to ease the tension, “A-All right, let’s just calm down guys—” 

 

“Oh gosh Evan, excuuuuse me for defending myself when your boyfriend Edgelord McAsshole starts talking trash.” Jared said sarcastically, putting up his hands in mock surrender.

 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you were actually competent at anything,” Connor spat, “I mean, tell me Jared, how  _ does _ one manage to fuck up that badly on a simple retrieval mission?  All you had to do was get some stupid ice samples!  But  _ no _ , somehow you managed to get Evan’s mom, my sister, and yourself kidnapped by aliens who could wipe our planet off the face of the galaxy— and to make matters worse, you pissed them off so much that they came to Earth and nearly killed all of us just so they could kick your ass again.”

 

Jared’s face fell for a second, and a deathly silence fell over the ship.  “Wow Connor, and here I thought you couldn’t be any more of a fucking psychopath.” he said flatly.

 

“Oh,  _ I’m _ the psychopath?  You’re the one who hasn’t even apologized for getting Evan’s mom and my sister killed!”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“Really?  You said it yourself: you have no idea what happened to them.  They might as well be dead for all we kno—”

 

“SHUT UP!” Evan shouted, “Just shut up, both of you!  N-No one's happy to be in this situation, b-but we're here now.  I-If we want to get through this, we can’t be constantly at each other’s throats, a-and we can’t just assume the worst.”  He gave Connor and Jared the steeliest glare he could muster, which is no easy task when you’re five-foot-eight of chronic anxiety.  “Jared, y-you’ve got the most experience here out of all of us.  You have to— you have to be the leader whether you like it or not, s-so start acting like one.” He turned to the other boy, “C-Connor, save the attitude for when we’re back on Earth.  Stop picking fights when we don’t need them.”  When he didn’t talk back, Evan closed his eyes and let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.  The ship grew quiet again.

 

“So... what should we do?” Michael asked, breaking the silence and feeling awkwardly privy to what should've been a private discussion.  He got a few looks from the rest of the crew, “Hey, I’m all for relationship breakthroughs, but we’re kinda just drifting over an alien planet right now.”  He said, giving Jared a “here’s-your-shovel-now-start-digging” look.

 

Jared blinked in surprise, “Right— uh, we need to find out where we’re headed.  Jeremy?” He glanced at the boy expectantly.

 

“I... don't know.” Jeremy gave an apologetic shrug at the looks from his crewmates, “Sorry, the lion's not talking to me anymor—” he paused to peer out the glass of the cockpit, “Oh wait there’s a castle up ahead.”  The others looked up in surprise.  Sure enough, a massive white castle rose up from a hill on the coastline, with ethereal blue accents and polished, white metal walls glimmering in the sunlight.  Four auxiliary towers surrounded a larger central building, and a graceful white bridge connected it to the mainland.  As they neared the castle, the lion’s eyes flashed gold.  The ground of the courtyard shook where the mighty beast touched down.

 

“Keep your guard up.”  Jared instructed.

 

Michael blinked in confusion, “Something wrong?”

 

“Like Murphy said: aliens already captured my crew once.  I’m not letting it happen again.” he replied.  Jared looked wary but determined.  He glanced over at Jeremy, who nodded and moved to open the lion’s mouth so they could exit.

 

\---

 

“Huh,”  Jared remarked as they walked out of the lion, “we probably should’ve checked to see if this air was actually breathable before going outside.”

 

“Not like we have anything to test it with.” Connor pointed out.

 

“Still.” he said, “That was like walking into a lab and just drinking the contents of a random beaker: insanely stupid and probably lethal.”

 

Connor rolled his eyes, “If you wanted to test it so badly we could’ve sent you out there first.”

 

Jared looked like he was about to fire off one of his infamous line-crossing retorts, but was interrupted by the blue lion suddenly standing up and roaring ferociously.  The five of them whipped around in fear as the massive beat reared and ground shook beneath them.

 

“AUGH!  Oh, God!  It’s going to kill us!” Jeremy shrieked, grabbing Michael as a human shield.

 

But the lion did not kill them.  As its roar washed over the door of the castle, the blue crystal designs began to glow, parting the doors to reveal a massive, dark entryway with ornately carved walls leading inside.

 

“Or… not? ”  Jeremy finished.  He cautiously stepped out from behind Michael, unsure whether the dark atrium or lion mech posed more of a threat. 

 

Michael laughed in mock offense once he’d recovered from the shock, “Is that all I am to you, Jeremy?  A meat shield?  I’m hurt!”

 

“Aw, Michael, you know you’re my favorite meat shield.” Jeremy said as they all began walking into the castle.  Its cavernous interior was lit only by the sunlight streaming in from outside, but even with that, the castle was quite dark.  The five of them stared around in cautious awe, trying to make out the details as they walked down the hallway.  When they reached the atrium— a small, circular room where a diamond with black markings was etched in the center of the floor and a long staircase lay directly ahead— they stopped.

 

Michael studied the room carefully, “Y’know, from the size of the lion, I would’ve figured these steps would be bigger.”

 

Suddenly the room lit up as a column of cyan light shot down from a device in the ceiling.  Crystals laid in the walls and light fixtures began to radiate the same color, as did the black markings in the diamond on the floor.  

 

“Hold for identity scan.” A computerized voice said.  Rings of cyan light materialized around each of them, moving up the boys’ bodies as the system carried out its scan.

 

“What is this?” Michael asked.

 

Jared stared up at the device apprehensively, “Why are we here?  What do you want with us?” The computer didn’t reply.  The room went dark as the columns of light suddenly vanished.  Then the crystalline fixtures on the walls lit up in a swirl of energy, bathing the room in a warm, natural light and illuminating a path deeper into the heart of the castle.

 

“Woah.” They all breathed.

 

Jared shrugged, “Welp.  Guess we’re going that way.”

 

\---

 

After what seemed like an eternity of walking through the maze of white walls and crystalline lights, they stumbled across a door that opened to reveal a massive circular room with eight metal discs coming out of the floor, all circled around a strange podium in the center.  The discs and the podium were lit up in the same cyan detailing as the walls and floors of the castle.

 

“Where are we?” asked Jeremy.

 

Michael stepped up to the podium, “I think it’s some kind of control room.”  He studied its interface panel carefully, and did a little gasp when a few glowing alien symbols appeared on its surface. Moments later, a couple of pods rose up from where two of the discs were.  They were mostly the same white metal as the castle, but their fronts were made of a semi-opaque cyan crystal.  A figure was visible inside each of them— darkened silhouettes that looked vaguely humanoid.  But it was impossible to tell for sure.  Everyone stared at them in shock, unsure of what to do.

 

“A-Are these guys dead?” Evan asked peeking nervously out from behind the podium.

 

As if to answer his question, the first pod lit up, and the crystalline barrier began to dissolve in a shower of light.  Inside was a boy about the same age as them.  He was rather short and muscular, with tanned, freckled skin, and golden blond hair with a red streak through the center tufts.  His ears were curiously pointed like an elf’s from some fantasy novel.  A golden circlet rested on his forehead, and he wore royal-looking regalia in various shades of blue and gold.  On the outside of each his eyes— which were closed like he’d been sleeping— there was a little red boomerang-shaped marking the same color as the stripe in his hair.  

 

He opened his eyes and gasped.  “Mother—!” he cried, falling forward into the arms of none other than Michael Mell, who just so happened to be next to the pod and, in an uncharacteristic bout of smoothness and hand-eye coordination, managed to dash forward and catch him.  The boy slumped in Michael’s arms for a moment, groaning as though he’d briefly passed out.  Then he looked up.

 

 

His eyes were a startlingly vibrant shade of teal, and his pupils had a bright circle of red inside them— the same color as his cheek markings.  He gazed at his savior with half-lidded eyes, and Michael blushed faintly as something unexpected stirred inside him.  “I— uh— hi?” he stammered out.

 

“...Who are you?  Where am I?” the boy asked.  He spoke with something like a british accent but not quite.

 

“Oh— uhm.” Michael faltered, searching for something cool, maybe even smooth to say, “I’m Michael.  And you’re right here in my arms.” he said at last with a lopsided grin.   _ Nice one. _  He thought to himself.

 

The boy seemed unfazed by Michael’s forward introduction, and was instead peering around the side of his head.  “Your ears,” he muttered.

 

Okay, not what he’d been expecting.  “Y-Yeah?  What about them?”

 

“They’re  _ gross _ .” The boy pulled back and made a face like he’d just seen someone eat a dirty sock, “What’s wrong with them?”

 

Michael frowned, “Nothing's wrong with them!  They heard exactly what you said about them!”

 

The boy took hold of the offending ear and whipped Michael around, grabbing his right arm, twisting it up against his back, and forcing him to his knees so quickly he barely had time to register.  

 

“Kinky,” Jared said under his breath.

 

“Who are you?  Where is Queen Lira?  What the hell are you doing in my castle?” the boy demanded.

 

“A giant blue lion brought us here!  That's all we know!” Michael pleaded, wincing in pain.

 

Stunned, the boy released Michael from his iron grip, “The fuck?  How do  _ you  _ have the Blue Lion?  What happened to its paladin?  What are you all doing here?” he paused, a look of dawning horror crossing his face, “Unless... shit, how long has it been?”

 

“We have no idea what you're talking about.” said Jared, “Look, tell us who you are, maybe we can help each other out.”  

 

The boy seemed taken aback for a second, “I’m Prince Rickarian of Planet Altea— but everyone calls me Rich.” He began striding towards the podium, “I’ve gotta find out where we are and how long we've been asleep.” With the worried tone of his voice, it seemed he was talking more to himself than anyone else.  Rich placed his hands on the podium’s interface panel and brought up a holo-screen.  He began punching in commands, and everyone watched in surprise as the second pod began to open.  Inside was a girl about the same age as the rest of them.  She had short black hair with a purple sheen to it, and pink cheek markings just like Rich’s.  Her attire was similar to his, but notably less fancy, and she was slightly taller than him.  Her eyes shot open.

 

 

 

She gasped.  “AH! Enemy combatants!” the girl leapt ungracefully out of the pod at Michael, who dodged with little difficulty as she collided with the side of the other pod and had to steady herself against it.  “Quiznak!  You're lucky I have a case of the old ‘sleep chamber knees.’  Otherwise, I'd grab your head like this, wrap you up like so - and one, two, three—” she snapped her fingers dramatically, “Sleepy time!”

 

Michael gawked at the girl— who he noted, spoke with the same accent as Rich— “Oh no, I am  _ not _ getting beat up a second time today.” 

 

“You will if you don’t surrender immediately!  I’ll have you know I’m trained at the highest level in every major Altean martial arts!” she made several unprofessional-looking combat gestures at Michael to demonstrate her prowess.

 

“Christine, you took one class.” Rich said as he typed away at the control panel.

 

“Shhhhhh!  They don’t know that!”

 

“They do now—” Rich stopped abruptly and gazed at the holo-screen in horror.  “No… no, no, no…” he started backing away from the podium.

 

Christine’s goofy expression faded, “What’s wrong?” 

 

“We’ve been asleep for  _ ten thousand years. _ ”

 

\---

 

Sounds of war filled Rich’s ears as his mother and Christine stood with him in the command room.  Fires raged and explosions shook the world.  The skies hung thick and dark with smoke that choked out light and life in equal part.  Without warning, the image of a fearsome alien appeared on the room’s holo-screen.

 

Rich’s mother scowled, “Zarkon.”

 

“Your fleet has been destroyed, Lira,” said Zarkon, “I will be there shortly to claim Voltron.”

 

As the message flickered out, a battleship above the castle fired its ion cannon and struck the castle with savage force.  Rich and Christine braced themselves as the whole palace shook, and one by one the screens displaying the carnage outside went dark.

 

Rich turned to the Queen, “Mom, you have to form Voltron and fight before he destroys everything!” he cried.

 

The Queen shook her her head, “Look around you, he’s already destroyed everything.  We must send the lions away.  We can't risk them falling into Zarkon's hands.”

 

“We can't give up hope!” pleaded Christine.

 

Rich gestured furiously to the darkened screens, “He’ll do this to every other planet in the galaxy if we don’t stop him now!”

 

"I’m sorry, my son.” Queen Lira said, stepping down from the podium.  “If all goes well, I will see you again soon.” She caressed his cheek for a moment, then activated an arcane sleeping spell and touched it to his neck.  

 

As Rich’s world faded to black, he felt his mother catch him.  The last thing he heard her say was:  _ I love you. _

 

\---

 

“Altea and all of the planets in our solar system have been destroyed.” Rich said, blinking back tears as he pulled himself out of the memory and turned to Christine, “Mom is dead.  Everything is gone…” His eyes narrowed in anger, “ _ Zarkon, _ ” he growled.

 

Jared practically choked, “—What did you say?” a piercing set of unearthly eyes flashed in the back of his mind.  A memory— just out of reach.

 

“He was the King of the Galra.  The universe’s biggest asshole and a mass-murderer.”

 

“...I think I know him.”

 

“ _ WHAT? _ ” Rich and the others shouted in unison.

 

“I remember now.” Jared said, almost disbelieving, “I was his prisoner.”

 

“That bastard’s still alive!?   _ How? _ ”

 

“Hell if I know.  But he’s searching for some kind of superweapon called Voltron.”

 

Rich furrowed his brow, “He's searching for it because he knows it's the only thing that can kill him.  We have to find it before he does.”

 

**\---Somewhere in the Galra Empire---**

 

Emperor Zarkon stood motionless in his throne room, surveying the horizon beyond his planet-like central command ship.  He’d been there like that for several minutes when suddenly, his faithful advisor and expert mage, Haggar, approached from behind.  Judging from the speed of her footsteps, it seemed she had urgent news.

 

“The Blue Lion has returned, and now I feel a resurgence of Altean energy.” she informed Zarkon as she walked up beside him.

 

He did not turn to address her. “Lira’s son lives? How?” 

 

“I know not,” Haggar admitted, “but it is time to reclaim what is rightfully ours.”

 

“Yes.  I shall wipe that foul race from the universe forever and take back Voltron.” said Zarkon, “Contact my commanders.”

 

\---

 

“Emperor Zarkon requests an audience.” A computerized voice said, addressing a fearsome-looking Galra soldier whose right arm was replaced by a massive, weaponized mechanical one.  He strode to the helm of his ship and knelt as a video feed of Zarkon flashed onto the ship’s holo-screen.  

 

“Commander Sendak, the Prince of Altea is alive and hiding in your sector.  We believe he alone holds the whereabouts of the remaining lions.  Your battle fleet is the closest to his location. Retrieve him and the lions.  With them all, the Galra Empire will be  _ unstoppable _ .”

 

Sendak did not look or stand up as he addressed the Emperor. “I fight for the empire.  I conquer in the name of Galra.  No foe has ever stood in my way and none ever will.  Vrepit sa!”  The video feed ended.  Sendak stood and turned to face his crew. 

 

“Set a course for Planet Arus.”


	7. In Which There is a Bonding Moment but Not THAT Bonding Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you bitter because we didn't get a voltron vlog yesterday? Is Hunk's terrible characterization in the recent comic getting you down? don't worry i gotchu fam
> 
>  
> 
> I swear I don't ship Kleinsen okay
> 
> I SWEAR

“Rich, you should eat something.  It’s been 10,000 years.” Christine nudged, offering the Prince a bowl of some mushy green substance colloquially dubbed “food goo”.  It had a pudding-like consistency, and tasted like someone had thrown celery, lettuce, and every other bland yet mildly distasteful green vegetable together into a blender.  But apparently it never spoiled, so after 10,000 years it was the only edible thing in the castle.

 

“I’m not hungry.”

 

“W-Wow.  Ten thousand years...” Evan wondered, “That’s like one thousand plus ten— wait—”

 

“That’s... times ten.” Connor corrected.

 

Evan flushed bright red in embarrassment and scowled, “W-Whatever, dropout.”

 

Meanwhile, Jeremy and Michael were busy scrutinizing a bowl of food goo.  Michael cautiously prodded the offending substance. “Dude, I’m not sure I could bring myself to eat this even if I hadn’t eaten for 10,000 years.”

 

Jeremy cringed, “Yeah, me either.”

 

Surprisingly, Jared was the only one staying remotely on task, “Damn, you guys must’ve been pretty advanced to have this kind of tech 10,000 years ago,” he remarked, looking around the room.

 

“Yeah, we were,” said Christine, “Our planet was a beautiful place.”

 

“But now it’s gone.  We're the last Alteans alive.” Rich finished.  His expression was blank, but emotions clearly ran hot underneath.  It looked like he could either rip a man in half with his bare hands or collapse into a weeping mess any second.  But thankfully, he did neither.  Christine turned to him, and wrapped the poor boy up in what was no doubt the softest hug in the galaxy.  He furiously blinked tears from his eyes as the others looked on in somber quiet.

 

Without warning, the podium’s holo-screen suddenly began flashing red, and a warning siren went off.  Christine abruptly released Rich from her hug and rushed to the screen in horror.  Her eyes widened, “A Galra battleship set its tracker to us!”

 

“OH COME _ON!_ ” Rich growled, “How the hell did they find us!?”

 

“No idea, but I bet it’s Connor’s fault.” Jared said, only half-jokingly.

 

Connor rolled his eyes and scowled,”Say whatever you've got to say to make yourself feel better; after getting us _stuck_ on the other side of a wormhole!”

 

“I'll stick you in a wormhole!”

 

“Oh shut up, both of you!” Evan said, exasperatedly pushing the two of them away from each other before a fight could break out, “This isn’t the time to— to start fights, we have to work as a team!” he turned to Rich and Christine, “H-How long before they get here?”

 

Christine’s face contorted in thought as she counted on her fingers, “At their speed? Oh, well, carry the two... I'd say probably a couple of days.”

 

“ _Good_.” said Rich, eyes narrowed in determination, “By the time they get here, you losers will have reformed Voltron, and together we’ll kick their asses into the next supercluster.  Hell, maybe if you don’t die right away, we can take down Zarkon and the rest of this tyrannical shitshow he calls an empire.”

 

“Alright, sounds completely realistic.” Jared nodded, with only a hint of sarcasm, “But there’s five of these lions and we’ve only got one.  I’m no math genius, but that means we’ve still got four missing, so how the fresh hell are we going to find the rest?”

 

\---

 

Rich stepped up to the console in the castle’s central command room and activated the systems.  Blue light poured from a device in the ceiling as he closed his eyes began to concentrate.

 

“Queen Lira connected the lions to Rich’s life force,” said Christine, “He’s the only one in the universe who can locate them now.”

 

Rich’s eyes shot open, and suddenly a 3D map of the galaxy filled the room.  Little blue points of light floated through the air, along with various arcane symbols and lines of constellations.

 

“Woah,” they breathed, marvelling at the sight of spacetime laid out before them.

 

“Guys, these are coordinates,” said Michael, “The Black Lion looks like it's in the same location as the Blue Lion,” he said, as a hologram of the Black and Blue lions floated by his head

 

“Aw, Look at your primitive synapses firing away in their little brain cage!” said Christine, popping over next to him and smiling cheerfully.

 

Rich cocked an eyebrow at Michael, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a grin, “Not bad.  That’s because the Black Lion’s right here in the castle.”

 

“Queen Lira locked the Black Lion in the castle to keep it out of Zarkon’s hands.  It can only be freed if the other four lions are present.” Christine clarified.

 

Jared squinted at the hologram skeptically, “Or, he could just, y’know, blow up the castle and drag it out of the rubble.”

 

Everyone gave him a look.

 

“What?  I’m just saying.”

 

 _“Anyway_.” Rich went on, “You’ve probably figured out by now that the lions choose their pilots. It’s this mystical bond that you can’t force— if you could, I’d be shoving you losers out of the way for the Red Lion right now,” he laughed.  

 

Christine allowed herself a giggle before continuing, “The lions all have their own unique quintessence that must be mirrored in their pilot.  The stronger their bond, the more powerful a unit they become!”

 

“All right,” Jared said, “Obviously the best and most amazing lion goes to me, but what about these nerds?” he joked, gesturing to his ragtag crew.

 

Connor scoffed, “Please, it’d be a miracle if any of the lions let you pilot them.”

 

“Actually, Jared’s right,” said Rich.

 

“ _What.”_

 

The prince waved a hand, and the galactic hologram rotated so that the Black Lion floated in front of Jared.  “The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron,” Rich said, “It’ll take a pilot who’s an effective leader and won’t easily crack under pressure.  Someone who can command his men to work together for the greater good, even at immense personal sacrifice.”

 

“Wow, Rich, that was really eloquent for you!” Christine marveled, “I’m so proud.”

 

He snorted, “Pfft, nah.  I’m just reading off the official descriptions.”  Rich flipped around one of the holo-screens in front of him to reveal what basically amounted to Altean wikipedia.  The castle must’ve had some kind of database backed up.

 

Christine facepalmed.  “ I should’ve known,” she sighed, waving a hand for him to continue.  “Carry on, Prince of Plagiarism.”

 

Rich grinned, and resumed where he left off, “Decisive head… blah blah… greater good… here we go.  So yeah, Jared, you’re piloting the Black Lion.  You don’t exactly fit the perfect picture of a Black Paladin, but you’ve got the potential and we can’t really afford to be picky right now.  NEXT!” he shouted, dramatically waving a hand and sending the Green Lion hologram to Evan.  “Let’s see… okay, so the Green Lion has an inquisitive personality and needs a pilot of intellect and daring.  Basically it’s the nerd lion.  Evan, say hello to your new superweapon.”

 

The boy blinked several times in shock. “Umm, I think there’s been a mistake.  I’m smart enough, sure— b-but daring?  I-I stutter, I wear polo shirts, a-and the riskiest thing I’ve ever done— besides getting into an alien warship— is break my arm falling out of a tree!”

 

Almost imperceptibly, Connor winced.

 

“Shhhhhh,” Rich said, holding a finger out to quiet Evan, “The mighty Prince Rich sees and knows all,” he grinned cheekily, “I wouldn’t pair you with the lion unless I knew you had it in ya.”

 

Michael raised his hand briefly, “Hey, uh, how _do_ you know which lions we’re going to pilot, anyway?  Can you sense our quintessences or something?”

 

“Of course I can,” Rich said, turning to the boy “What did you think I was going by?  It’s not like you’re all conveniently color-coded or something.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“Next up: the Blue Lion,” Rich resumed, “It requires a pilot who is always a friend to those in need, and is accepting of those who are different.  He must support the team as a whole by working well with others, and be unafraid to face a potentially more powerful or skilled opponent.” Rich turned to Jeremy. “Tallass, that’d be you.”

 

Jeremy glanced from side to side, as though Rich might be speaking to someone else.  He stared apprehensively down at the Blue Lion hologram as it floated over to him.  “I’m not even that tall!  And you want _me_ to pilot this?”

 

“Did I stutter?”

 

Jeremy blanched, “Well, no, but—”

 

“Then you’re piloting it.  End of discussion.  NEXT!” Rich called as he sent the Yellow Lion towards Michael.  “ _Ahem._  The Yellow Lion is caring and kind.  Its pilot is one who puts the needs of others above his own.  His heart must be mighty.  As the leg of Voltron, you will lift the team up and become a bastion of dependability.”

 

“Awesome!” Michael said, beaming as the miniature Yellow Lion floated by his head.  He and Jeremy shared an excited glance as the two of them marveled at their respective lions.

 

Rich began the spiel for the last remaining lion and sent it flying towards Connor.  “Connor, you will fly the Red Lion.  It is temperamental—” the prince was interrupted by a loud snort from Evan.

 

“S-Sorry,” the boy said, embarrassedly stifling a laugh as Connor glared at him.

 

“...and the most difficult to master.  It's faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable—” this time he was interrupted by Jared snickering.

 

“No, no, wait, lemme guess: the Red Lion also spends its free time getting stoned off its ass and shopping at Hot Topic?”  

 

Connor grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose like it was the only thing keeping him from strangling Jared right then and there. “Are you _sure,_ ” he bit out, “that this moron should be leading the universe’s most powerful weapon?”

 

Rich shrugged, “Like I said, we can’t afford to be picky.  None of you losers are super qualified for the job, but Jared’s closest to having all the qualities of the ideal Black Lion pilot, and he has more experience actually _being_ a pilot.”  He glanced over at the boy, who was currently making a crushing motion with his fingers at Connor’s head.  “... ‘Closest’ being a _relative_ term here…” he cleared his throat, “Anyways, the Red Lion’s pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.  That’s why you’ll be flying it, Connor.”

 

Connor allowed himself a small smile as he looked down at the miniature red lion.  But his face fell when he noticed there was no set of coordinates attached to it.  The holograms of others’ lions had all been accompanied by the planet they were on and the location of said planet.  The Red Lion was not.

 

Rich noticed Connor’s disappointed expression and continued, “For some reason, I can’t find the Red Lion's coordinates yet.  It’s probably just something wrong with the castle,” he said, giving a slightly sheepish grin, “After 10,000 years, it _miiiight_ need some work.”

 

Christine bounded up to the podium and threw her arm around the prince’s shoulders, “Don't worry, we'll find it soon!  Or my name isn’t Christenorah Hermione Wilhelmine Canigula!”

 

There was a brief pause.  Then at once, the mini-lions all roared and jumped into formation, flying together as they transformed into the mighty Voltron in a blinding flash of light.

 

“Once we have all the lions, you will form Voltron, the most powerful warrior ever known, and the Defender of the Universe.” Rich said, as the hologram shimmered out of existence.

 

Jared whistled, “Wow.  Do we have to say that whole title every time we go into battle?”

 

“Very funny,” Rich deadpanned, “Now how do you wanna split up?  The Galra aren’t gonna wait around for you to get your shit together.”

 

Jared cleared his throat, looking a little unsure as he began, “Right.  So uh, we don't have much time.  Me and Evan will go after the Green Lion.  Jeremy, you take Michael and get the yellow one.  Connor, you stay here.  If you find Red Lion, go get it.”

 

“And in the meantime, we'll get this castle's defenses ready,” said Christine, “They'll be sorely needed.” then she turned to Evan and Jared, “I'll ready a pod and load in the coordinates so you can reach the Green Lion.”

 

\---

 

As four of them soared into space, piloting their lion and pod respectively, Christine’s voice came over the comms, and two arcane-looking portals opened in front of them, “We can only keep the wormholes that lead to the other lions open for two of your Earth hours, so you'll have to be quick about your work.  The good news is that according to my readings, both planets are relatively peaceful.  So, if you do get stuck, they could be relaxing places to live out the rest of your lives!  Enjoy the trip!” she finished as they jetted through the portals.

 

“W-Wait! What? No!” Jeremy shrieked.

 

“I did _not_ receive the memo on this.” said Jared.

 

\---

 

Evan and Jared’s planet was, as promised, remarkably peaceful and calm.  It was earthlike, with the part they were currently on covered in wild prairies dotted by the occasional tree or oasis.  It was warm, but not oppressively so.  The sky was slightly darker than Earth’s would’ve been during the daytime, and as such, the planet’s two moons shone large in the sky along with a few bright stars.  They walked for a while in silence, with only the rustle of grasses and the calls of alien wildlife between them.  Waist-deep grasses and vivid alien flowers parted as they finally came across the edge of a dense forest.  The ground inside was dappled with sunlight, and strange birdcalls danced through the trees.

 

“I think it wants us to go in there,” said Evan.

 

Jared shrugged, “Hey, it’s your lion.  Lead the way, treeboy.”

 

Evan took a tentative step into the forest.  There was the loud _CRACK_ of a branch snapping, and the boy skittered back, nearly colliding with Jared.  “Oh god, um…”

 

“Do you need me to hold your hand or something?”

 

“N-No, I’m just— I’m just sca— concerned— that there might be some uh, less than friendly wildlife in there.”

 

“Ohhhh, I see how it is,” Jared snickered, “You want _me_ to go in first and be your meat shield.”

 

Evan sighed in embarrassment, “Yes, okay?  I want you to be my meat shield because unlike you, I don’t _have_ muscles o-or a superpowered robo-arm.”

 

“You forgot a post-apocalyptic white streak in your hair and a cool throat scar.”

 

“Sure, why not.”

 

Jared grinned, “Pfft, can you imagine if _you’d_ been the one to get captured?  Just picture it,” he put his hands out and framed Evan’s face with his fingers, “Buff, tall, sort-of badass Evan Hansen.  I think Connor would’ve about died.”

 

Evan snorted at that, “Yeah, if I didn’t die first.  I wouldn’t last five seconds in an alien prison.”

 

And so, with Jared leading the way, they began their trek into the woods.  The tracker led them to the banks of a small river and seemed to indicate that they should follow it, so they picked their way through the foliage of the riverbank in relative silence.  It wasn’t an awkward silence per se, but it wasn’t a comfortable one either.  The moment of easy banter had long passed, leaving them with nothing but that last fight at the Garrison still eating away at their consciences.

 

**\---One Year Earlier---**

 

“—Well shit Evan, I’m sorry that as an S-Class fighter pilot who’s about to go on a year-long mission to Kerberos and back, I haven’t had time to sit around and listen to you obsess over _trees_ every day!  I should really get my priorities straight!  What could _possibly_ be more important than what kind of pine needles you liked to sniff when you were five?!” Jared practically shouted.  He and Evan stood in their shared dorm, facing off in what would be their biggest— and last— fight for a long time.

 

Evan withered under Jared’s soul-crushing glare.  “That’s not— that’s not the only thing I ever talk about.”  

 

“Oh, forgive me,” Jared said, words dripping with sarcasm, “How could I have forgotten your _constant fucking pining_ for the resident school shooter?”

 

Evan wished he could be anywhere else, anywhere at all, but he clenched his fists and steeled himself, “He’s not a school shooter—!  And I-I’m not asking for you to— to hang out with me all the time!” His voice rose steadily, “I’m just asking you to not be an egotistical dick about it!”

 

“I’m not trying to be a dick about it!  I’m just fucking stressed all the goddamn time!  Do you have any idea what the training for this mission is _like?_  I spent a full _week_ in a tiny-ass training capsule listening to Zoe Murphy rant about her psychotic brother!”

 

“Yeah, a-and when you came back and I asked you about it, you just laid down in your bed and flipped me off!  With no explanation!  I was just trying to be nice!”

 

Jared groaned in exasperation, “Sue me, I was cranky.  Can you stop being so fucking sensitive for _once_ in your _life?_ ” he paused, “Oh wait, you can’t, because _anxiety_.”  he made air quotes as he said this, “Newsflash, Evan, people are rude sometimes!  Fucking learn to live with it!”

 

There was a tense pause as those words hung in the air.  Jared had crossed a line and he knew it.  

 

“...Sure,” Evan replied in a soft, yet bitterly cold voice, “I’ll learn to live with it, when you learn to live with the fact that you don’t actually have any friends because you’re a heartless jerk who pushes everyone away.”

 

Jared’s gaze hardened.  He was no stranger to this kind of insult, but it had more bite than usual coming from Evan.  “Yeah, that’s rich coming from the kid who’s so socially awkward that he’s only ever _had_ two friends.”

 

“You know what Jared?” Evan said, flatly, “Fine.  Y-You don’t need someone as pathetic as me dragging you down.  Go ahead a-and hang out with all your other f-friends in the S-Class.  I’m sure they just _love_ you there.”

 

Jared could’ve ended it right there.  He could’ve apologized, shut Evan down, and everything would’ve been fine eventually.  But handling conflict gracefully was not his strong suit.  “You’re absolutely right.  When I get back from this goddamn mission, I’m gonna apply for a dorm transfer so I never have to see your sorry face again.  Have fun with your psychotic boyfriend.”

 

“He’s not my—!” Evan’s voice cracked, refusing to let him finish.  Jared glared at him coldly for a moment, before turning his back to leave for the last Kerberos mission meeting.  They would depart early tomorrow morning.  Tears pricked at the corners of Evan’s eyes, but he refused to let them spill over like this.  Not here.  Not now.  

 

“Just don’t get m-my mom or Zoe killed,” he snapped, “Y-You can rot out there for all I care.”

 

Jared whirled around.  His face flickered through a mixture of emotions; anger, betrayal, guilt.  Then, the last thing he said before storming out the door like a helpless, heartbroken little kid, was, “Fuck you, Evan!  Asshole!”

 

The door slammed shut.  Tears blurred Evan’s vision, running wet and hot down his cheeks.  He fell back on his bed and silently cried, wondering how it all went wrong.

 

Jared stalked through the halls to his last meeting, already regretting at least half the things he’d said and violently defending the others.  He managed to calm himself outwardly from fuming mad to only mildly irritable by the time he’d reached the conference room.  Inwardly though, he was a mess.   He only remembered snippets of the briefing, but it would be fine— Ms. Hansen would go over it with him and Zoe at least a dozen times before liftoff the next day.  He told himself it would be fine.  Everything would be fine.

 

\---

 

Six months later, Evan Hansen would watch in disbelief and hysteria as the deaths of his mom, his longtime crush, and former best friend were reported on live television.  He would “officially” receive the news later that day.  He was supposed to have been informed a few days prior, but the notice got lost somewhere along the way.  He eventually would be admitted to the Garrison hospital at his therapist’s recommendation, for fear of his rapidly deteriorating mental health.  

 

Six months later, the Murphy family would watch in outrage and sorrow as the deaths of their beloved daughter and the rest of Kerberos crew were reported on television.   Connor Murphy would not attend school or come out of his room for weeks afterward.  Larry and Cynthia Murphy would mourn the loss of their daughter.  Any attempts to reach out to their estranged son— now their only child— were violently rejected.

 

Evan would attend a state funeral for the three members of the Kerberos mission.  Later that day, he would lay flowers on two of the three graves.  He would hesitate on the third.   _I’m sorry_ , he would whisper to it, before returning to the Garrison.

 

Connor would refuse to attend the state funeral for the three members of the Kerberos mission.  Later that night, however, he would go visit the graves.  He would sit by the second grave.   _I’m sorry,_ he would whisper to it, before returning home.

 

All the while, Jared would be alone and scared in the clutches of a vast and tyrannical alien empire.  And sometimes, during a rare peaceful moment, he would look out at the stars and search for that little blue marble where Evan lived, wondering how much the boy hated him.

 

\---

 

_SMACK!_

 

“Ow!  Ugh, what the fuck is up with these space mosquitos?” Jared complained, smacking his neck for the third time as another strange insect bit him.  “I’m gonna get space malaria or something.”

 

Evan rolled his eyes, “I d-don’t think you have to put the word space in front of _everything_ out here.”

 

“Hmm, lemme just look that up in my space book of space grammar once we find the green space lion in this space forest and space fly it back to the space castle.”

 

“Gee,” Evan deadpanned, “Do I detect a hint of space sarcasm?”

 

Jared glanced back at the boy with a cheeky grin, “Wow Evan, when did you turn into a snarker?  That’s my thing!  I’m supposed to be the charmingly asshole-ish snarky one, and you’re the innocent anxiety-ridden one with a throbbing gay hard-on for Co—”

 

“I’M NOT—” Evan shrieked, “I-I’m not— I’m just... people change, okay?” His voice cracked a little, “I’m allowed to do stuff other than constantly apologize a-and stutter.”  

 

“Ooh, character development.”

 

“Sh-shut up,” Evan mumbled, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, “It’s not like I had to deal with losing everyone who ever cared about me in some freak mission accident due to _pilot error_ ,” he added bitterly, walking around Jared to lead their expedition with the tracker.  

 

Jared winced, “Okay, _that_ took a turn for the worse.  But yeah, I _guess_ I can see how that might be traumatizing…”

 

“You think?” came Evan’s scathing reply.

 

“But for the record, it’s not my fault that we got kidnapped by fucking _aliens_.”

 

“Still, you… you never even apologized.”

 

“For what?”  Jared scoffed.  He sounded genuinely confused underneath the cockiness.

 

Evan turned around, eyes wide with incredulousness and boring into Jared’s with a soft, yet piercing intensity.  “...For _what?_ ” he repeated.  There was an undercurrent of barely suppressed fury to his voice— that kind you hear when you’ve said exactly the wrong thing and are about to get verbally ripped a new one.  “A-Are you serious?”

 

“Uhh… yeah?”  said Jared, with a note of concern rooting in the back of his mind.  On some subconscious level, it probably occurred to him that he’d royally screwed up.  But he wasn’t exactly one for introspection.

 

“Do— Do you even remember the night before the mission?” Evan was beyond words at this point, “I’m… I just— how _fucking dense_ are you?”

 

Jared did a brief double take and took a step back, putting his hands up in a vaguely placatory gesture. “ _Wow_ , okay, uncharacteristic profanity aside, it’s not my fucking fault that a horde of evil aliens decided to pick the worst possible time for a vacation to Kerberos!  Besides, you still had Connor— it’s not like you were completely alone.”

 

“Geez, Jared, why didn’t _I_ think of that?” Evan bit out, sarcasm dripping from every word, “Oh that’s right, m-maybe it’s because _one_ _friend_ can’t replace my mom?  A-And if you hadn’t noticed— which seems to be a running theme with you— I’m not exactly besties with Connor right now!”  He turned away from Jared and started to continue down the riverbank.

 

Jared shrugged defensively, “ _Sorry_ for not paying attention to every little detail of your ambiguously gay relationship— I just assumed that the two of you would’ve bonded over losing a family member!  But instead you turned into as much of a pissy, over-dramatic emo-lord as he was, and apparently neither of you could stand each other for it!”

 

“I lost my mom because of you, Jared!” Evan spat, “I lost everyone who ever cared about me because of you!” He whirled around to face the boy once more, fists clenched and visibly fighting back tears.  “The o-only reason I’m even on speaking terms with you right now, is because my mom a-and Zoe might still be alive out there!” his chest heaved from the outburst, “I think I have the right to be upset!  And I think I have the right to— to _want an apology!_ ”

 

Jared stood there numbly as Evan paused, obviously struggling not to break down. “I-I’m sorry.  I-It just… it hurts, okay?  I miss them.  I-I miss my mom, I miss Zoe… and I missed you, even a-after everything that happened.”

 

Tension filled the air as the two of them stared at each other, not quite daring to speak.  When Jared didn’t respond, Evan finally turned away. “Just… Just forget it.  F-Forget I said anything.” He started to walk off again.  Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

“... I’m sorry,”  Jared choked out, voice catching and slightly desperate, “I shouldn’t… the stuff I said back there…” he trailed off as he struggled to find the words.  Apologizing in a non-sarcastic manner was something he rarely attempted, and it showed, “Look, I’m just— I’m sorry, Evan.  What happened on the Kerberos mission wasn’t my fault, but the stuff I said before was… really shitty.”  Jared paused; his hand still rested on Evan’s shoulder.  The shorter boy stared up at him with those tremulous sky-blue eyes, wide and rimmed with shameful tears that threatened to spill over.  

 

 _God damn_ _it_ , he thought, and pulled Evan into a hug.  

 

Evan tensed up on reflex, but after a moment, he felt the genuine emotion behind it and tentatively returned the gesture.

 

Jared let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.  “I’m so sorry,” he said, in a voice so quiet Evan wasn’t sure he’d heard it.  

 

Evan sniffled, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a little half-smile.  It wasn’t an amazing apology by any means— clumsy, inarticulate, and hampered by emotional constipation— but it was a start.  “Th-thanks, Jared,” he said.  Then he allowed himself a small grin and added, “That was a very moving apology.”    

 

Jared released Evan and frowned, “Cut me some slack!  I’m trying to have a moment here!”

 

“Oh, you’re trying alright,” said Evan, rolling his eyes good-naturedly as he accepted the olive branch, “a regular paragon of diplomacy.”

 

Jared threw his hands up in defeat, “See this— _this_ is why I never apologize.”

 

Evan opened his mouth like he was about to say something clever in response, but nearly jumped out of his skin when a loud beeping from the tracker cut him off.  He fumbled for the device for a few seconds— during which Jared made no attempt to stifle his snickering— and peered at the screen, which now displayed a blinking green dot located a few hundred meters ahead.  The two boys looked up to see a large clearing just in front of them, in the center of which stood a massive stone pyramid, covered in what was probably millennia worth of leaves and vines.

 

Jared shrugged, “Welp.  X marks the spot, I guess.”

 

“So… should I— should I just go in?” Evan wondered, half to Jared, half to himself, “I mean, I don’t really see a doorway or anything.”  He lost focus for a moment as a brightly colored butterfly-like creature flitted right in front of his face.

 

“I dunno man, it’s your lion.  Just mind-meld with it or something,” Jared said, adjusting his glasses as he stared up at the pyramid.

 

Evan shifted anxiously, “I-I don’t think that’s how it works.  Jeremy didn’t feel anything until he was inside his lion.”

 

“Kinky~”

 

“JARED!” Evan cried, looking equal parts horrified and exasperated.

 

If there was ever an anatomically possible version of the “:3” emjoi, Jared was pulling that face right now.  “Y’know, I wouldn’t have pegged Jeremy as a furry right off the bat, but I’m really starting to see it now.”

 

“CAN WE JUST— can we just focus on getting my lion, please?”

 

Jared snickered to himself, “I bet he has a fursona.”

 

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose like Jared’s mere presence gave him a splitting migraine.  He sighed heavily, “Yes.  It’s a dolphin.  He made it when he was twelve.  Now i-if we could just—” he was interrupted by a burst of ugly snort-laughter.

 

“Holy shit Evan, I was joking!  Are you serious?”

 

“Completely.  But, uh,” the shorter boy’s eyes darted back and forth nervously, “d-don’t tell him I said that.”

 

“Oh, _sure_.” said Jared, stifling an unconvincing snicker.

 

“I don’t believe you, but, uh, back to how I’m supposed to get the Green Lion?”  Evan fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he gazed up at the ancient pyramid, “I-I think I can see some kind of opening at the top?  It looks like there’s vines growing out of there.”

 

Jared flashed his best shit-eating grin, “Perfect!  Now go Indiana-Jones your way up there while I chill out down here.”  He crossed his arms and leaned back against a tree as Evan’s jaw dropped in dawning horror.

 

“Y-You want me to climb up there?!” the boy spluttered, blanching in panic as his eyes flitted between Jared and the pyramid, which suddenly looked much, much taller.

 

“It’s _your_ lion.”

 

Evan started to hyperventilate, “I-I can’t do that!  Why can’t— why can’t you do it— o-or at least g-go up there with me?  I-I mean, I could fall a-and get hurt, or worse!”  Eyes wide with utter terror, he was already well on his way to having a full-blown, tear-filled, patent-pending Evan Hansen Panic Attack™.  

 

Of course, after years of family-friendship with the boy, Jared had become an expert at dealing with said panic attacks.  Well, an expert at predicting them.  Emotional counselling was not his strong suit, if his and Evan’s most recent interactions were anything to go by.  He gave a half-hearted eye roll and sighed, “Jeez Evan, calm down.  It’s not that tall, and there’s a shitload of vines you can grab onto if you slip.  You’ll be fine.”

 

Evan seemed unconvinced, “A-Are you kidding me?  That— that _thing_ is a death trap!  I c-can’t climb something like that a-and _not_ fall to my death!”

 

“Evan.” Jared said, sucking in a breath through his teeth, “You _climb trees._  30-foot-tall trees.  For fun.  Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you fall out of one, and that’s pretty impressive given how clumsy you are 90% of the time,” he noticed a brief shadow of something cross Evan’s face, so he tried to soften his expression to one of fond mockery, “If anyone can get up this oversized staircase and not die, it’s you.”

 

Evan managed a weak laugh, “Th-Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Fortunately for the both of them, he’d managed to get his breathing somewhat under control.  He exhaled shakily and relented, “O-Okay.  I’ll do it.”

 

“Thank _God_ ,” Jared sighed, pushing up his glasses.  He plopped down on the grass and leaned back against the tree, “I am _not_ in the mood for more hand holding.  And, uh, feel free to take your sweet time getting up there— I haven’t gotten to relax since Kerberos.”

 

Evan glanced at Jared, then at the pyramid.  Just looking up at the thing was starting to give him vertigo, but he pushed it aside and began trudging towards the massive structure.  Its sand-colored blocks of stone were about waist height and required a bit of gymnastics to clamber up, but Jared was right; the vines did at least provide decent handholds.  Between that, and the natural pits and ledges worn into the rock from centuries of erosion, scaling the pyramid actually wasn’t too difficult.  Unfortunately, Jared took it upon himself to occasionally yell words of “encouragement” up at Evan.  Go figure.  The boy honestly couldn’t tell if it was meant to be comforting in a sarcastic, friendly banter sort of way, or if Jared was just being a little shit.  Possibly both.

 

\---

 

“Whatever you do, don’t look down!”

 

Evan rolled his eyes as he hoisted himself onto one of the final steps of the pyramid.  He yelled back, “Wow Jared, that was a-almost as funny as the other two times you said it!”

 

“I do what I can!”

 

As he clambered up the final level of the pyramid, Evan looked down into the opening.  Vines spewed forth from the hole like a foliage fountain, dotted with otherworldly flowers in varying shades of pink, purple, and blue.   It would have been quite pretty, were it not for one thing.  

 

There was a normal staircase on the opposite side of the pyramid.

 

“Are— are you KIDDING me?!” Evan cried.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jared shouted.  He stood up, slightly concerned.

 

Evan gave the most exasperated groan of his life before yelling back, “THERE’S A STAIRCASE, JARED.  A GOD.  DAMN.  STAIRCASE.”

 

There was a pause.  Then Jared immediately burst out cackling.  Evan couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying in between the peals of laughter, but it was probably for the best, since he was so done at this point that just _one_ snarky quip from Jared about this staircase business would cause him to throw himself into the pyramid.  He brushed aside his exasperation and some of the vines to peer inside, and much to his surprise, revealed the Green Lion.  Apparently the pyramid had been built quite closely around the lion, as the top of its head couldn’t have been more than 10 feet below him.  

 

There was just one _tiny_ problem.

 

The force field.  

 

A green particle barrier just like the one around the Blue Lion encircled this lion.  Evan figured that if Rich was correct in his assessment that he would pilot the Green Lion, the particle barrier would dissolve at his touch.  But if Rich was wrong… Evan would go sliding off the edge of the sphere and fall to what might very well be his death.  And even if that didn’t happen, he would hit the particle barrier and then the lion after said barrier dissolved.  If he didn’t have time to right himself before the barrier crumbled beneath him, he could fall wrong and get seriously hurt.

 

Evan very much wanted to freak out right then and there.  But just as he was about to do so, he felt a strange presence at the edge of his mind.  It seemed benevolent and sort of soothing.  Familiar, yet foreign.  It was like an old friend he’d never met, and with the air of a verdant meadow on sunny day.  Like the kind near the end of spring or early summer, pleasantly warm and breezy, bursting with life and energy, but peaceful and serene all the same.  Its presence was quite calming.  As Evan looked into the depths of the pyramid, he saw the Green Lion’s eyes flash.  It was beckoning to him.  

 

Evan took a few deep breaths, and with a terrified scream, jumped into the pyramid.  

 

\---

 

Jared was laughing his ass off.  Well, until Evan jumped into the pyramid without warning, that is.  He stood there in shock for a few moments as the screaming rapidly faded.  Evan wouldn’t just jump to his death, right?  Maybe he slipped and fell?  No, no, that wasn’t it.  Couldn’t be it.  The lions were pretty big, right?  Maybe he just jumped onto the lion’s head?  “Evan?!” he called, hoping for some sign of life.  Nothing.   _Shit,_ Jared thought.  He was about ready to start climbing the pyramid himself when all of a sudden, an earthshaking roar sounded through the forest and green light poured out from within the pyramid.  Then the Green Lion in all its glory burst through the canopy of vines at the top, and looped through the air before alighting on the ground just in front of him.  The lion paused for a moment before lowering its head to the ground and opening its giant maw.  

 

Dumbfounded, Jared froze there for a few moments.  Then he heard Evan yell from inside, “Are you coming or what?”  The guy sounded more upbeat than Jared had ever heard him since getting back.  A brief smile played across his lips as he darted up the stairway and rounded the passage into the cockpit, subsequently welcomed by the sight of Evan happily chilling in the pilot’s seat.  The whole interior was bathed in a warm green glow, as though they were sitting beneath a dense forest canopy on a sunny day.

 

“Miss me?” Evan said with a smile, lightly elbowing Jared in the ribs as he walked up alongside the pilot’s chair.

 

Jared scoffed good-naturedly, “If that’s what you wanna call it.  I just didn’t want Connor to kill me if I came back without you,” he paused for a moment, “Actually, I think _everyone_ would come after my ass if I lost you.”

 

Evan shook his head in mock disbelief, “Wow, that— that was _almost_ sentimental.”

 

“Put a sock in it, treeboy.”

 

Evan just laughed and turned to face the front glass of the cockpit.  Various readouts and symbols were lit up in the same green as the lion, and he readjusted his grip on the controls in preparation for takeoff.  The Green Lion rumbled impatiently.  “I-I think she wants to get back to the castle,” Evan guessed.

 

He looked back at Jared for a moment, who merely shrugged.  “You heard the thing; let’s get going.  I wanna get my superpowered leader lion already!”

 

Evan cocked his head in thought as they began to take off.  He mused, “I wonder how Jeremy and Michael are doing…?”


	8. Jeremy and Michael and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lion Retrieval Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which michael is very done with being the center of this love triangle and jeremy is oblivious, as usual

Jeremy and Michael were not doing very well, to put it mildly.

 

_ “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”  _ they screamed as the Blue Lion spiraled through the air, barely dodging fire from the Galra fighter jets as its pilot ineptly yanked the controls to and fro.  It was all Jeremy could do to keep them from getting shot out of the sky.  Incessant beeping from the Blue Lion’s sensors filled their ears and only added to the chaos since neither boy had a clue what they meant.

 

Michael yelled over the din, “I thought Christine said these planets were peaceful!?   _ OHGOD NONONO—! _ ” he slammed into the wall of the cockpit as Jeremy suddenly pulled a hairpin turn.

 

“ _ AGH!   _ SORRY MICHAEL! _ ” _ Jeremy winced as his friend cursed and struggled to regain footing, “Maybe peaceful means something else in Altean!?”  He stopped the Blue Lion’s haphazard flight pattern to give Michael time to collect himself, but that was all the opening the fighter jets needed.   The drones inside finally got a target lock on the Blue Lion and prepared missile fire.  Each jet launched a series of three dual missiles from either cannon with deadly accuracy, and Jeremy cursed as the warning popped up on his holoscreens. He swerved wildly, repeatedly barrel rolling in an effort to throw off their their trackers.  It worked for the first five missiles— each detonated violently just a few meters off target, but he wasn’t quick enough on the sixth and it struck the Blue Lion in one of her back legs with a savage explosion, sending them plummeting towards the ground like a meteor from the sky.

 

“SHIT SHIT _SHIT SHIT_ **_SHIT!!!_** _”_ Jeremy screamed, yanking back on the controls with all his might as the Blue Lion neared the bottom of a barren canyon.  Her thrusters flared and she somersaulted in midair just before they could crash, instead hovering a moment before surging forward along the canyon floor with the fighters in hot pursuit.  The canyon opened out into an equally barren valley— the entire planet seemed to be a mesa-encrusted desert wasteland— much to the boys’ chagrin.  The valley bore a large pit in the center surrounded by ominous-looking Galra structures.  

 

Michael groaned painfully and stood again, rubbing his head as he checked the lion tracker Rich had given them.  A little yellow blip was now visible just ahead, and judging from the overload of fighter jets around the pit, it wasn’t unreasonable to assume his lion was somewhere in there.  “According to the coordinates, we're right on top of the Yellow Lion.  It's below there, where they're mining for the ore.”  The Blue Lion seemed to understand what Michael was getting at, and a zoomed-in video feed of the tunnel opening appeared on her holo-screens.  She rumbled in what Michael hoped was confirmation.  “Either they don’t know it’s there,” he continued, “or they just started digging for it?  What do you think, Jere?”

 

Jeremy was more focused on not getting shot out of the sky again, “Who cares?  It’s the only chance we’ve got, so just go get it!  I'm dropping you down there.”  

 

Michael tried to not to take his dismissive tone too close to heart.  “Okay, but how am I gonna get down there without getting completely vaporized?  Those drones are  _ everywhere _ !”

 

“Don’t worry man, I’ll cover you!”

 

“Full offense dude, but I’m not sure you can hold them off!  You’ve had this lion for all of two hours and we just took a big hit less than a minute ago!”

 

Jeremy cursed as he dove into heavy fire and touched down, crushing dozens of Galra droids beneath the Blue Lion’s massive paws.  They sprinted towards the cave at breakneck speed as more fighters closed in behind them and laid into Blue with all their firepower.  “We don’t have time for this!” Jeremy cried, “Just get in there so we can get out of here!” An eject button appeared on the holoscreens and he pressed it without hesitation.  The floor suddenly dropped out just beneath Michael, and Blue opened her jaw to deposit him safely on the ground before turning back to face the fighter jets.  Michael instinctively tucked into a roll thanks to his Garrison training, tumbling a few feet before pushing off the ground and breaking into a run.  He darted into the cave and took cover behind the guardrails of an elevator platform, cursing under his breath while Jeremy stood guard outside.

 

“Oh yeah, sure, just drop me off in an alien planet,” Michael grumbled, opening up the elevator’s control box in an attempt to rewire the contents as laser blasts whizzed over his head  “That's cool, man.  It's only occupied by douchebag purple aliens that want to kill me, but whatever.  Just ignore them and go connect with a big, yellow, mechanical cat and try  _ not _ to dwell on that cute alien boy who maybe possibly  _ likes _ you versus your cute best friend who probably never will.  Yeah, sure.  That’s doable.  What could  _ possibly _ go wrong?!”  Michael’s face lit up in satisfaction as the elevator suddenly creaked to life and started descending the tunnel.   Much to his relief and delight, his very presence caused the walls to begin radiating a warm golden glow from their many lion carvings.  They looked just like the ones in the Blue Lion’s cave.  

 

But the sunny glow did not persist.  The tunnel soon opened up into a giant rocky cave, lit only by a harsh purple light from the Galra mining structures embedded in the stone.  There were still plenty of carvings though, which reassured him slightly.  He hopped off the lift at the bottom and darted towards what looked like the beginning of a new tunnel passage just below the biggest lion carving.  The cave itself suddenly shook— no doubt from the warzone outside— and several small pebbles fell from the ceiling.  

 

Michael gave a heavy sigh, “Okay, no problem.  I’m in a giant cave that’s collapsing in on itself, and I have to find this lion before Jeremy gets his ass handed to him.  Now what?”  He started forwards to inspect the nascent tunnel when one of the floor carvings began to glow bright gold.  Then another just beyond it, and then another on the wall.  The last one was in the shape of a circle, and looked more like an ancient marker of some kind.  “Alright, that’s probably where the lion is,” Michael thought aloud, “but how am I gonna get to it?”  Out of the corner of his eye, a metal gleam caught his attention.  He turned to face it, and the source turned out to be a large drilling machine, big enough for a person to ride on and small enough to create a manageable passageway.

 

He grinned, “Oh  _ hell _ yes.”

 

\---

 

Jeremy was having a bad time.

 

Okay, it could’ve been worse.  At the moment there were only three fighter jets closing in on him from above, and it only took one or two shots from the Blue Lion’s tail laser to destroy most of the ships.  But their fire was getting dangerously close to the cave entrance.  Jeremy had no idea what the cave’s structural integrity might be like— he bit his lip as he turned back to assess the damage from the fighters’ latest barrage.  Rocks tumbled from the top of them cave mouth, but otherwise it looked okay.  Though judging from the number of times it’d been hit, the cave wouldn’t be safe much longer under this kind of attack.  He had to draw fire away from the entrance.  The Blue Lion rumbled in assent, and Jeremy decided to act.  He slammed forward on the control sticks and Blue’s thrusters flared, propelling them in an upwards spiral toward their assailants as they exchanged fire.

 

He just hoped it would be enough. 

 

\---

 

Michael burst through the cavern wall with a loud  _ CRASH _ as the drilling machine finally pierced the last layer of rock.  Huge stones clattered to the ground around him, and he powered down the drill before hopping off and scrambling up to the massive Yellow Lion standing in front of him, encircled by a golden force field the same as the one around the Blue Lion.  A presence suddenly washed over the his mind.  It spoke to him.  Well, spoke wasn’t the right word.  Images and ideas fed into his brain from a presence so grand and old that a human mind alone could not fully understand it.  A foreign, yet familiar feeling.  It was of a sunny day hiking up vast mountains with cool, crisp air filling your lungs, of walking down a endless beach and drinking in the warm sunlight as the sand gives way beneath your feet, of walking outside after a heavy rain and breathing in the thick scent of petrichor as it perfumes the earth for a time.  It was grounded and stable.  Like a friend who would always be there for you.  The feeling of coming home, even when home wasn’t so much a place as it was a person.

 

Michael pulled himself out of the trance and shook his head.   _ Wow,  _ he thought,  _ Is  _ this _ what Jeremy was talking about? _  He walked up to the edge of the force field and raised a cautious hand to its surface.  For a second, nothing happened.  Then the barrier melted away, and the lion gave a friendly rumble.  Michael grinned as it lowered its head to the ground, opening its maw to beckon him inside.  

 

“You ready to kick some Galra ass?”

 

\---

 

Jeremy was having an especially bad time.

 

With Galra fighter jets closing in on him from all sides and still no sign of Michael, things weren’t looking great.  Jeremy shot up above the fighters and flipped in midair before barreling straight into one and crushing it in the Blue Lion’s jaws.  He tossed the crumpled ship aside and whirled around to fire the tail laser at the other ones.  A few of the jets were still aiming at him, but now most directed their shots at the cave mouth, blowing up many of the Galra structures around it and causing the cave to shudder dangerously as rocks fell from its roof.

 

“Oh,  _ no. _ ” Jeremy immediately spun around to pursue the ships.  Their fire increased in intensity though he quickly managed to take out a whole row of them with a lucky laser blast.  Unfortunately, one of them had already fired a missile at the cave, and Jeremy’s eyes widened in horror as he realised it was too late— the Blue Lion couldn’t reach it in time.  

 

“ **_MICHAEL!_ ** _ ”  _ a strangled scream ripped from his throat as the missile collided with the cave entrance, shaking the earth and sky in a savage explosion.  A dark mushroom cloud roiled up from the decimated cave, and Jeremy sat there frozen, disbelieving, as the ships began circling back towards him.   They opened fire.  The Blue Lion gave a savage roar as the blasts struck her exterior and snapped Jeremy from his stupor.  His survival instincts kicked in.  He took off in the opposite direction in a desperate bid to draw them away from the remains of the cave, hoping, praying that Michael was okay.  “Michael, come on!  Please, buddy!” he pleaded.  A series of jagged spires jutted out from the walls of a massive canyon up ahead.  He dove towards them and thought he could pull up at the last second to send the fighter jets crashing to their doom.  But the drones seemed to sense what he was doing.  They intensified their fire at the already-damaged spots in Blue’s armor just as Jeremy whirled around to shoot back.  A quick shot to her shoulder spun them around so the return fire missed, and blast to her back sent them tumbling out of the sky.  “GAH!  Oh, no, no, no,  _ no, NO! _ ” Jeremy screamed, “Going down!  We're going down!”  He yanked the controls back as much as he could but it wasn’t enough.  

 

The Blue Lion landed on her back— hard.   She and Jeremy skidded right into the corner of a massive canyon wall, and the lion just barely managed to right herself as her pilot recovered from the impact.  Electricity crackled around her damaged armor.  Her eyes flickered on and off.  Jeremy groaned painfully as he blinked back the dark spots that threatened to swallow his vision.  Then his eyes shot wide open.  The blaring of Blue’s warning sirens filled his ears, and a deep pit of dread formed in his stomach as he watched the remaining Galra fighters close in on them.  One of them readied its missiles.  It fired.  Time seemed to slow down.  Jeremy turned away and shut his eyes tight, a small whimper escaping the boy as he prepared to die.  

 

A deafening explosion rocked the Blue Lion as the missiles collided.

 

But nothing happened.

 

Jeremy opened his eyes, and he lit up at the sight of the Yellow Lion standing defensively in front of him.  Then Michael’s voice came over the comms.

 

“MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!” the other boy yelled triumphantly, laughing as his lion soared into the air and bodyslammed the three Galra fighters into unrecognizable hunks of metal.  “Hope I’m not late to the party?” he asked with a nearly audible eyebrow wiggle.

 

Jeremy practically leapt out of his chair, “ _ MICHAEL! _  Oh my God— you’re okay!  I thought you were dead?!” his voice cracked with relief, “You took those missiles point-blank— you saved my life!”

 

“Well, actually I was trying to get out of the way.”

 

Jeremy’s face fell, “Oh.”

 

“Dude,” Michael giggled, “I’m kidding.  I  _ would’ve _ been trying to get out of the way, but thankfully what this lion lacks in speed it more than makes up for in strength.  Man can it take a beating!”

 

Jeremy beamed, “That’s awesome!”

 

“I know right—?” a sudden burst of laser fire interrupted Michael, “Oo-oh  _ shit _ ; we've got incoming!”  The Yellow Lion turned around to face a least a dozen Galra fighters jets fresh out of whatever hellhole they came from.

 

A video feed of Rich suddenly appeared on Jeremy and Michael’s holoscreens.  “Hey Pala-dorks!” his voice was slightly strained, though he was evidently trying to hide it, “I can’t keep these wormholes open forever, you know!  Hurry up and get your asses back here before I pass out and you losers get stranded!”  

 

“Way ahead of you,” Jeremy cried, “Let’s get out of here!”  He and Michael yanked up on the controls and soared into the sky towards the arcane portal.  They narrowly dodged the last errant bits of laser fire, shooting through the wormhole as it closed not a second later.

 

\---

 

Connor, Christine, Jared, and Evan all stood waiting in the control room.  They studied the holographic star map with varying degrees of intensity and curiosity as Rich used the castle’s systems to scan for the elusive Red Lion.  Then the silence was unceremoniously interrupted by Michael and Jeremy as they came trudging into the room, cracking various joints and groaning in discomfort, much to the others’ amusement.

 

“Jesus,” Jeremy whined, “you’d think fighting from inside a giant mechanical lion would be, I dunno,  _ not  _ painful?”

 

Michael grinned— straightening up slightly as he saw Rich turn to face them— “Aww, does widdle Jewemy have a boo-boo?”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Rich snorted in a manner rather unbefitting for royalty, “Ladies and gentlemen, our saviors,” he said sarcastically, gesturing to the two boys.

 

“Come on!” cried Jeremy, “We nearly  _ died _ out there!  It was a nightmare!”

 

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” Christine chirped, “Near-death experiences build character!”

 

Jeremy groaned in exasperation, “That sounds like something a sadistic author would say.”

 

“Speaking of sadistic,” Jared cut in, “did you find Connor’s lion yet?”  He shot the boy a shit-eating grin from across the room— Connor was standing several meters apart from the rest of the group and had, until this point, been intently studying the starmap.  Unfazed, he responded with merely an eye roll.

 

Christine beamed happily at the group, rocking back and forth on her heels, “Actually, Rich just located it!  There's a bit of good news and bad news.  The good news is, the Red Lion's nearby.  The bad news is, it's on board that Galra ship now orbiting planet Arus,” she paused at their disheartened expressions,  “But wait, good news again.  We're Arus!”

 

Jared did a double take, “They’re here already?!”

 

“Y-You said they wouldn’t be here for a couple of  _ days! _ ” Jeremy shrieked, attaching himself in a death grip to Michael’s hoodie sleeve.

 

“Ah, yes, well, I guess my calculations were a bit off?” Christine admitted, “Finger counting is— it's more of an art than a science.”  

 

Then the room’s massive holoscreen lit up and the ping for an incoming video feed sounded, before the screen filled with the image of an imposing Galra soldier.  He spoke in a low growl, “Prince Rickarian, this is Commander Sendak of the Galra Empire.  I come on behalf of Emperor Zarkon, Lord of the Known Universe.  I am here to confiscate the lions.  Turn them over to me, or I will destroy your planet.” 

 

Rich looked like he wanted to yell something violent and obscene at Sendak in a bout of irreverent rage that would get them all killed, but the video feed cut out before he could do anything.  His hands trembled with anger as they clenched and unclenched in fists at his sides.

 

“Welp,” said Jared, “We’re fucked.”

 

Christine gave a shaky smile, “Oh, come on guys, it can’t be that bad.  There’s no need to panic!”

 

“Not panic?” Evan cried, “A-An evil alien commander is driving his battleship toward us, w-we only have four lions—”

 

“Technically, only three working lions.” Michael corrected.

 

“Y-yes, right.  Thank you, Michael—  _ three _ working lions a-and a castle that's, like, 10,000 years old—”

 

“Actually, it's 10,600 years old,” Christine interrupted, “You see, it was built by my grandfather—”

 

“Thanks, Christine,” Evan pinched the bridge of his nose like it was the only thing keeping him from a panic attack or sighing in exasperation, and gestured with his other hand,“S-see?  How can we  _ not _ be panicking right now?!  A-And even if we had all the lions, w-we still have no idea what to do with them.  The Garrison trained us to— to explore space!  Not fight intergalactic dictators!  W-we’ll die if we try to take on Sendak, a-and we’ll be defenseless inside the castle.”

 

“Oh!” Rich snapped his fingers as his eyes lit up in realization, “Guys, we’re not  _ totally _ screwed.  This castle has a particle barrier we can activate!”

 

Michael gave a dreamy little sigh, “Boy, you've already activated my particle barrier—”

 

“ _ Michael! _ ” Jeremy whisper-shouted, utterly scandalized, “What the actual _ fuck? _ ” He glanced around at the others to see if they’d heard.  Thankfully, they hadn’t.

 

“Shit, did I say that out loud?” Michael’s face burned with embarrassment as he covered his mouth.

 

Jeremy clapped a hand to his forehead, “We’re about to  _ die _ and the only thing on your mind is  _ a cute boy?!” _

 

“Oh, so you think he’s cute too?” Michael asked with a little eyebrow wiggle.  Much to his surprise, Jeremy looked borderline offended at the suggestion.  Michael couldn’t fathom why— he knew the guy was fine with gay things— hell, Jeremy had been the one to give him the rainbow flag patch for his hoodie all the way back in middle school.

 

Fortunately Christine resumed before things could get heated, “The particle barrier won't hold Sendak's ion cannon forever,” she reminded them, “Galra technology will surely have advanced since we fought them last.”

 

“Oh good, another reason t-to panic.” Evan added defeatedly.

 

Jared crossed his arms resolutely, “No, we've just got to figure out a plan before Sendak decides our time’s up,” he looked back at the group, “You nerds have any bright ideas?”

 

“I say we pop through a wormhole and live to fight another day.” Jeremy offered, “Me and Michael nearly died when we went to get his lion, and the only things attacking us were a handful of drones!”

 

Evan nodded nervously in assent, “I-I second that.  I mean, we tried to find all the lions, but we only have three.  We can't form Voltron.  A-At this point we might as well be throwing ourselves into a meat grinder, b-because that’s the result we’ll get if we try to fight Sendak like this.”

 

“Alright then, it's settled.  Christine, you ride with Michael.  I’ll take Rich,” Jeremy decided, shooting the Yellow Paladin a somewhat pointed look.

 

Michael furrowed his brow in annoyance and stared quizzically at Evan and Jeremy “Dude, we can't just abandon Arus.  The Galra will keep destroying planets and capturing prisoners until we stop them.”

 

Evan fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he considered this, “O-okay, If we run, then m-maybe Sendak will follow us a-and leave this planet alone, like when we left Earth?”

 

“Sendak could destroy the planet then come after us anyway,” Connor finally spoke, glaring at Evan, “Staying is our only option.”

 

“W-Well here’s an option: shut your quiznak.” Evan shot back, crossing his arms defensively and glowering at the boy.  Rich and Christine looked mildly appalled in the background.

 

Connor raised an eyebrow and scowled, “I don't think you're using that word correctly.”

 

“Wh-what do you know, Mullet?” 

 

“The fuck did you just call my hair?”

 

Jared snorted loudly at that.  Given all the shots he’d taken at the guy, Connor’s enraged expression at  _ this _ of all things was absolutely hilarious.  Then Michael cut in before things could escalate, “Knock it off you two.  Besides, we’re staying.”

 

“No way!” Jeremy cried, aligning himself with Evan “We’re leaving.”

 

“Staying!” 

 

“Leaving!”

 

Jared groaned exasperatedly to himself.  Looking out over the mess of obliviously pining boys arguing with one another, it was clear that their already-slim chances of success were rapidly dwindling, and he was already picking out the epitaph he would have on his space tombstone.  Possibly the phrase ‘I’m with stupid’, and five arrows pointing at the neighboring tombstones.  But finally, he’d had enough. “Guys!” Jared shouted, “Shut the  _ fuck  _ up!”  Much to his surprise, they actually stopped bickering just long enough to collectively glare at him before turning their backs on the opposing side.  He faced the Alteans, “Rich, Christine, these are your lions.  You’ve dealt with these assholes before.  You know what we’re up against.  Tell me you’ve got some kind of emergency plan?”

 

Rich’s eyes widened as Jared said this.  His expression looked fragile as glass as he tried to think of something, anything at all.  Evidently he was at a loss. “I...I… I don't know.”  His voice broke hopelessly.

 

Christine steeled her expression in thought and considered the situation.  Then she looked cautiously at Rich, “Well… maybe your mother can help.”

 

“...My mother?”

 

\---

 

Rich and Christine entered a cavernous, secluded room off from the main areas of the castle.   It was spherical in shape, walls a deep midnight blue— nearly black— with three glowing cyan lines running its circumference.  A grey metal walkway led to a large center platform, which upon it laid a glowing, almost flower-shaped device in the center.  Floating in its core was a bright white orb, like a miniature star.  Rich walked towards it apprehensively.

 

“Christine, what is this?”

 

She sighed sadly, “Queen Lira knew there was a chance she might never see you again.  So, she stored her memories in this computer for you.”  

 

And with that, the glowing light in the center exploded, bathing the room in its glow as the image of a lush, green field unfurled around them.  Rich gasped.  It looked just like Altea.

 

Christine continued, “Lira, uh… She knew that the AI wouldn’t really be her.  Technology can store the data from a person’s brain, but their consciousness...”  she swallowed hard and blinked back tears, “A-anyway, she hoped it might still be of some help to you.  For, uh, advice and perhaps the fleeting illusion of maternal comfort?”

 

“Gee, Chris, that really helps.” Rich said sarcastically, “Consider me comforted—” he froze as the light in the center rose from its place on the pedestal.  It hung in the air for a brief, agonizing moment before coalescing into the form of his mother, Queen Lira, phantasmal and resplendent in her magnificent white and gold armor.  Her face was blank and lifeless for a moment.  Then her expression melted into one of frighteningly real fondness and sorrow as Rich fell to his knees at the base of the pedestal and a strangled noise escaped his throat.

 

“Rickarian, my son,” the Queen said, kneeling down to the boy, “I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“ _ Mom _ ,” he choked out, “I’m so scared.  Some Galra assho—” he noticed his mother’s expression and quickly censored himself, “—jerkwad, set his tracker to us, and I don’t know what to do.  The old Paladins are  _ gone _ , and the closest replacement we have is a bunch of teenagers with weird ears from some backwater planet that’s barely figured out space travel!  A-And they can’t stop fighting with each other… they think I have some kind of plan, but I just  _ don’t _ .  I can’t think of anything...  Please, Mom, I need your help.”  He looked up at her so despairingly, that he looked as fragile as glass, ready to shatter any second.

 

Queen Lira gazed lamentingly at her son, “Oh, sweetheart.  I would do anything to take this burden from you.  War is pain, and you’ve suffered too much already.”  She looked up at Christine, who was standing further back on the walkway and covering her mouth to stifle a sob, “You both have.”

 

Rich slowly stood, putting on a brave face and staring up at the Queen, “I-I don't know if we should run to save what we have, or stay and risk everything.  I want to fight, but none of us know how.”  He looked away and sighed, “I know what you’d do.”

 

“I scattered the Lions of Voltron to keep them out of Zarkon's hands,” Lira began, “You urged me to keep them and fight, but for the greater good of protecting the universe, I chose to hide them.”

 

“Of course.  You were right, Mom,” said Rich.

 

Lira shook her head, “No, my son.  You were right.  In my caution I made a terrible mistake, one that cost the universe countless lives.  Forming Voltron is the only way to stop Zarkon.  You must be willing to sacrifice everything to assemble the lions, and correct my error.”

 

Rich’s eyes brightened, “Wh— really?”

 

“Yes,” the Queen smiled, looking as though she wanted nothing more than to reach out and give the boy a hug, “You and the new paladins are young, far too much so to be involved with the horrors of war.   But the lions have chosen you for a reason.  As long as you and the new paladins understand that Voltron is not just a weapon of immense power, but a symbol of justice and diplomacy, I believe you can win this war and restore peace to the universe.”

 

Rich gave a shaky laugh, “Geez Mom, no pressure or anything.”

 

“Of course not, my son,” Lira teased, “Now go.  Be great.”


	9. In Which There is Regretfully, No Suiting Up Montage, but Connor Has Almost Found His Lion, So There’s That at Least

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [IMPORTANT] No idea what's going on? Seems like I skipped a scene or two? That's because I replaced the poll stuff in the last chapter with the actual chapter 8. Head on over there and check it out if you haven't already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lads I wanted to make screenshot redraws for all the shots with the paladins getting their weapons but THAT shit ain't happening with my schedule right now... I have basically zero time for polished digital art. (I'VE LEFT MY BMC SPIDERMAN AU ASKBLOG ON HIATUS SINCE AUGUST YALL THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS) 
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with Jared's hair or facial structure in the new screenshot redraw I did manage to make and both are a bITCH to draw from any unusual angle let me tell you. But I've gotten the hang of them (sorta) since making this picture, so I digress. On the bright side, I fucking NAILED Rich's battlesuit. Do you know how long it took to find a shade of pink that would work with Rich's red hair and markings? TOO DAMN LONG. Pink and blue battlesuits are officially bi culture now sorry I don't make the rules.
> 
> Also I deeply apologize for the short chapter. Like I said, life's a bitch and so's the process of picking out a college and applying for scholarships. There's one more chapter left in the story after this. We're in the home stretch! Writing fanfiction has been a wild ride let me tell you. I've always considered myself more an artist than a writer, but when you're constantly swamped with homework and you've got a computer on you while you're at school, writing suddenly becomes the easiest and most practical way of doing fan shit. 
> 
> I'm actually considering continuing this AU through oneshots that follow the plot of Voltron and cover a specific event or episode, but are done from the POV of one character (3rd person limited to be specific) rather than 3rd person omniscient. This would be so I can actually write in a more personal and emotional fashion instead of just describing what's going on and making vaguely witty quips to fill the gaping void. I dunno though. I'm kinda using this AU as a training grounds (since I've basically got a clear outline for plot/events/dialogue and all I have to do is articulate it) for becoming a decent fiction writer so that when I actually start writing this Klance fic I've had in mind, I'll know what I'm doing and it won't be so amateurish. 
> 
> BUT, I've got something to make up for the short chapter that I think you'll like! I've been drawing a lot of traditional art stuff for the AU, and I'm gonna post it all below a break at the chapter's end along with any notes/comments/context I have for the piece. Hope you enjoy!

Everyone’s heads turned as Rich strode decisively into the control room, clad in blue, white, — and curiously, pink — body armor.  “You five losers were brought here for a reason,” he began, “You’re the only ones who can pilot the Voltron Lions now.  We have to fight, and we’ll keep fighting until we kick Zarkon’s ass into the galactic dirt where it belongs,” he paused, “It’s our destiny.”   

 

The five Earth teenagers stood a little taller.

 

“Voltron is the universe's only hope.   _ We _ are the universe's only hope.  We can’t fail now.”

 

The five boys all shared a tentative look before nodding solemnly in agreement.  Jared sighed, “Alright, what now?”

 

Rich led them into a futuristic armory.  “You Pala-dorks are definitely gonna die without some protection, so you’d better suit up.”  With that, the room lit up to reveal five large, glowing tubes, each housing a set of paladin armor in their respective colors.

 

Jared walked up to the center tube, which contained the Black Paladin armor, “Oh wow, more color-coding.”

 

Connor rolled his eyes, “You want us to all mix and match or something?”

 

“What?  No— well, actually that would be kinda funny,” Jared mused, “Swap everyone’s armor around and act like it’s completely normal when people get confused about which paladins we are.  Like,” he put on an affected voice, “What do you mean you’re the  _ Black  _ Paladin, you’re wearing  _ red  _ armor?  You should be the  _ Red  _ Paladin.” “I’m not the Red Paladin, he is.” “But he’s wearing  _ BLUE _ armor!” 

 

“...That’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

Jared grinned,  _ “Exactly. _  All we need now is a cool suiting up montage or something. _ ” _

 

Evan sighed with the weariness of a thousand underpaid babysitters and muttered under his breath, “We’re so dead.” He looked back at Jeremy and Michael.  They offered only useless shrugs of resigned solidarity, and Evan could feel another tiny piece of himself dying inside.  

 

Meanwhile, Christine looked uncertainly at the nascent Paladins as they vanished into changing rooms to don their armor.  She turned and asked, “Rich, are you sure about this?  They aren't exactly the best and brightest the universe has to offer.”

 

“Believe me, I know,” the prince sighed.  “But they’re all we’ve got.”

 

* * *

 

 

“These are… actually pretty comfy,” Jeremy remarked as he and Michael emerged from their rooms decked out in full Paladin armor.

 

Michael grinned, “And flattering too,” he put an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders, “We make space combat look good.”

 

“Speak for yourself; I’m literally a twig and I’m gonna have the  _ worst _ helmet hair when I take this off.”  Jeremy gestured to his blue and white helmet resignedly, “You’re probably going to look like some kind of rugged posterboy for joining the war effort or whatever.”  

 

Michael turned and blushed slightly underneath the visor of his helmet, “Ha ha, um…”

 

“Sorry gays,” Jared cut in, stepping dramatically out of his changing room, “But I’m the only rugged posterboy on this team.”

 

Jeremy blinked, “Uh, did you mean’—”

 

“Nope.  Speaking of, have Evan and Connor finished up yet?  I’m bored and need someone to harass besides you two, since you’re both so easygoing and friendly it’s like kicking a puppy.”

 

“I’m right here,” came the voice of an exasperated Evan from behind the Black Paladin.

 

Jared whirled around to face the shortest member of their group.  “Oh— hey there Treeboy,” he said with a shit-eating grin, “Didn’t see you all the way down there.”

 

“V-Very funny,” Evan deadpanned, “And y-you wonder why you don’t have m-more friends.”

 

Jared continued, unfazed, “Any idea what’s keeping your boyfriend?  Sendak’s not gonna wait around forever, and I don’t plan on dying ‘till  _ after _ I get old and ugly.”

 

“You’ve got  _ one  _ of those down,” said Connor, walking out of the changing room and in the process of putting up his hair— a sight which Evan seemed more than a little enamored with.

 

Jared waved him off, “Whatever,  _ Mullet _ .”  He said the word deliberately, testing out the feel of it.  Then he turned to Evan and grinned, “You know what?  I think I’m liking this new insult you’ve come up with for Connor.  Adds a little 80s spice to my repertoire,” Jared paused and frowned as he realized Evan was too busy admiring the Red Paladin to pay attention.  He snapped his fingers in front of the boy’s face, “Hey loverboy, snap out of it.  You aren’t planning on using  _ ‘Mullet’ _ as a pet name, are you?”

 

Evan flushed bright red and crossed his arms in a huff as he quickly averted his gaze, “F-Fuck off.”

 

“Hmm,” Jared mused, “I’ll put that down as a ‘yes.’”

 

As all the Paladins were suited up and ready to go, Rich stepped forward and put a hand on the glowing cyan surface of a large island in the middle of the room.  The panel dissolved to reveal four curiously-shaped devices in each of the Paladins’ colors — except black.  The devices rose up as if by magic and began floating over to their respective Paladins.  

 

“The bayard is the traditional weapon of the Paladins of Voltron,” Christine explained, “It takes a distinct shape for each Paladin.” 

 

“Basically, you each get your dream weapon,” Rich elaborated, “Just don’t put your eyes out and don’t stab anyone unless they’re Galra.”

 

Jared snorted, “Does Connor count?”

 

“You wish,” Connor replied, grinning as he took hold of the red bayard and it morphed into an impressive sword.  Curiously, its grip ran perpendicular to the blade, rather than parallel.  He gave a few tentative swings, then from the greaves of his opposite arm he summoned a large cyan particle shield.

 

“Seriously?” Jared gawked, “He already has a knife and we’re giving him  _ another _ stabby weapon?  Am I the only one who has a problem with this?”

 

Evan snickered a bit as he grabbed his bayard, “L-Looks like it,  _ ‘Poster Boy.’” _  The weapon morphed into a large staff— nearly a foot taller than Evan himself— with a sectioned head that glowed summery green from within.

 

“Aw, little Treeboy got a stick,” Jared said in a mocking tone, “That’s adorable.”

 

Evan bounced the the weapon in his hands for a moment, then turned and lightly whacked Jared in the stomach.  Unfortunately for Jared, the staff turned out to be electrified, and he let out an indecipherable half-scream, half-string of swears before promptly collapsing on the floor.  Evan dropped the staff in horror and immediately began stuttering out a string of apologies to a half-conscious Jared, while a sudden choking noise erupted from Connor as he violently tried to suppress a fit of laughter.

 

Michael and Jeremy, on the other hand, practically leapt at their bayards in excitement, failing to suppress girlish squees of delight as the weapons transformed.  Jeremy’s morphed into a futuristic energy rifle while Michael’s turned into a massive, fearsome-looking battleaxe.  They gleefully gawked at their own weapons before turning to each other’s and proceeding to gush over them as well.

 

“Oh my God, Michael, you have a freaking  _ battleaxe!” _ Jeremy exclaimed as he watched Michael give it a careful swing, “That thing is massive— how are you even lifting it?!”

 

“I have no idea!” Michael replied, “It’s actually pretty light, though I’m guessing that’s the futuristic space technology at work.  And dude, you have a laser gun!  That’s so awesome!”

 

Jeremy grinned, “I know, right?  I just hope I can figure out how to aim this thing.” He peered curiously through the sights of the gun for a moment before turning to the Alteans, “Hey Rich, can we consciously change the weapons?”

 

The prince shrugged as he tore his eyes away from the scene Evan and Jared were making, “I mean, yeah, you can make modifications, but they take their forms for a reason.  Whatever they turn into naturally is the kind of weapon you’ll be most adept at, so turning it into something else might not be the best idea.”

 

“No, no, I get what you’re saying.”  Jeremy furrowed his brow and closed his eyes as he concentrated on the bayard, willing it to change form.  For a moment nothing happened.   Then the barrel of the gun began to narrow and elongate, and the rest of the gun began to shift as well until it took the form of a powerful sniper rifle.

 

_ “DUDE!” _ Michael cried, “You just— how did you— that’s AWESOME!” He nearly dropped his battleaxe running over to check out his friend’s handiwork.

 

“I—I can’t believe that actually worked!” Jeremy beamed, “Lemme see if I can just…” He concentrated on the bayard again, until it became something resembling a small pistol, then a shotgun, then a bayonet— all equally cool and futuristic-looking— before shifting it back into its original form.

 

Rich raised an eyebrow at Jeremy’s success, “Nice work, Tallass.  It usually takes a little while for people to get the hang of changing their bayard,” he paused and snickered, “I figured it’d be funny to watch you flail around with it, but I’m impressed.”

 

“Gee, thanks.”

 

Having finally regained control of his motor functions, Jared cursed under his breath a few more times, stood up, and walked over to the case that had contained the bayards.  He looked down at the case, notably devoid of a black bayard, then out at the others eagerly testing out their weapons.  He frowned.  “Hey Rich, where’s the black bayard?”  

 

The prince shifted uneasily, “Uh, yeah, about that…”

 

  
  


“The black bayard was lost with its last Paladin,” Christine explained, practically cutting Rich off as though she were trying to cover for something.

 

Jared rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh, “Ugh.  Yeah, I figured something was up when no magical black bayard floated out with the others.”  He looked down at his cybernetic arm and shrugged, “Whatever, this thing probably packs a punch anyway.”  

 

* * *

 

 

The Paladins and Alteans stood ready for battle in the castle’s control room as a schematic of Sendak’s ship lit up the massive holoscreen.  Rich addressed them from the helm to go over the plan.  It was simple, yet exceedingly dangerous.  But it was their best shot.  “Alright, the only way we can stand up to Sendak’s bitch of a ship is if we can form Voltron, but we can’t do that without the Red Lion.  We’ll have to board the ship and get it from there.”

 

With arms crossed and the usual scowl plastered across his face, Connor eyed the hologram skeptically.  “That’s a pretty big ship.  Even if we manage to sneak on there, how are we gonna find the Red Lion?”

 

“Well, it's not a matter of ‘we.’  It's a matter of ‘you,’” he replied.

 

“Rich is right,” Michael chimed, “Once we get you in, you'll be able to feel its presence and track it down, like a kind of mental GPS.”  He made a wiggly hand gesture for emphasis, earning an amused snort from Jeremy.

 

Jared nodded, “Don’t sweat it, Murphy; you’ll figure it out.  You know how you felt that crazy energy while we were in the desert?”

 

“Yeah,” Connor replied, “You made fun of me for that.”

 

“And I'm proud of that, but according to Evan, turns out it's exactly like that mumbo-jumbo,” Jared said, giving him a grin that was somewhere between well-wishing and shit-eating.

 

Christine piped up, “Connor, remember, the Red Lion is extremely temperamental.  You'll have to earn its respect before you can pilot it.”

 

“Fan-fucking-tastic.  Where do I start?”

 

“Well,” Jared began, “lucky for you, I’ve concocted an ingenious plan that I’m almost positive won’t get us killed.”

 

Rich coughed something that sounded an awful lot like “bullshit,” but allowed him to continue.

 

“Okay, so the Galra Empire knows about the Blue and Yellow Lion, but they don't know we have the Green Lion too.  That gives us an advantage.  Michael, Jeremy, you'll act as a decoy by pretending to give yourselves up.”

 

“Why am I always the decoy?” Jeremy grumbled.

 

Michael rolled his eyes, “Dude, you’ve literally never been part of any kind of secret plan, much less consistently enough that you can say that you’re always the decoy.  Besides, I’m a decoy too.”

 

“I know, but I just feel like I’m that ‘always the bait guy’ type.”

 

“You’re not wrong,” said Jared, “You do have that shrimpy bait boy kind of vibe.”

 

“See?”

 

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Jared continued somewhat pointedly, “While Sendak is distracted, Connor, Evan, and I will sneak onto the ship in the Green Lion.  Me and the edgelord will find the Red Lion while Evan guards our exit.  Michael, Jeremy, find some way to take down that ion cannon so we’re not toast as soon as they figure out what’s happening.  Also we should probably get going now.  The longer we take, the more suspicious Sendak’s gonna get, and the more likely it is that he’s just gonna blast us with the cannon and be done with it.”

 

Connor sighed, “I’m starting to think that might be the less painful option.”

 

* * *

 

 

Michael and Jeremy soared towards the massive Galra cruiser hovering just above the planet’s atmosphere, trying desperately to push down the fear creeping up their throats that threatened to come out in a scream.  They each put on a brave face as they opened up a comms channel to the ship.  

 

Jeremy began shakily, “A-Attention, Galra ship.  Do not fire.  We're surrendering our lions.”

 

Sendak eyed them with contempt and a hint of suspicion, but the fledgling Paladins’ act seemed to satisfy him.  He gave a curt nod and cut the feed.  Michael and Jeremy breathed a heavy sigh of relief.  Their work here was done; it was all up to Jared, Connor, and Evan now.

 

“I hope this works.” Jeremy said, watching anxiously as Michael opened up the comms link to the other members of the team.

 

“Evan, what’s our ETA?”

 

There was a pause, then the Green Paladin’s voice came over the feed, “W-We’re in.”  Evan watched nervously as Connor finished cutting a hole in the hull of the ship, then the three of them clambered inside, desperately hoping no alarms would go off. 

 

The Blue and Yellow Paladins breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as they noticed as a set of doors open on a strange protrusion of the ship directly in front of them.  A blinding violet glow began charging up.

 

Michael eyed it anxiously, “What the hell is that?” 

 

“I think that’s our signal to get out of here!” Jeremy cried, slamming forward on the controls and jetting out of the way.  Michael followed suit not a moment too soon, barely dodging the massive violet tractor beam that shot from the ship like a bolt of lightning.

 

Jeremy’s mind raced to formulate a plan as he saw a flurry of fighters emerge from the underside of the cruiser, “Michael, get that ion cannon offline while I take care of these space jerks!”

 

“You got it, buddy!”

 

And with that, their lions surged towards the ship, Jeremy circling in the Blue Lion and taking out the smaller craft while the Yellow Lion careened towards the barrel of the ion cannon with all its destructive power.  Hopefully they could buy their friends onboard enough time to get the Red Lion.  If not, well… they planned to go down swinging.

 

* * *

Alright lads, that's the end of the chapter but fret not: here's those sketches I promised you.

 

1.) Behold, our beautiful Prince Rich.  And before you ask or in case you didn't notice, yes, he  _is_ wearing wedges.  He refuses to be the shortest one.  Even Christine is taller than him.  (She's 5'6", he's 5'5")  Fun fact: I kinda tried to keep the eyeball design thing from his shirt by turning it into the earrings but less garish.  Fun fact #2: The red streak in his hair is completely natural- no dyes whatsoever.  Also, that little boomerang-shaped thing on the wedge glows slightly.  You read that right: he's got glow in the dark wedge heels.   _You're welcome._

 

 

 

2.) Michael and his weapon!  I tried to mimic the style of the bayard weapons as best I could, though some details might've been lost in the scanner.  So it goes.  But!  I finally figured out all his patches and their placements, which is something I've been struggling on for about as long as I've been in the fandom.  I also finally figured out a manageable way to draw his hair that works with my art style, so double win for the mighty Zoy Zauce.  

The flags on his left arm are the gay pride flag, the flag of the Philippines, and the flag of Ecuador, in that order.  And yes, I did give his hoodie those funky shoulder pad things that Hunk's vest has.  On his right wrist he's got your standard black bracelet things that you layer for that Depressed Millennial™ aesthetic, along with a black/white beaded one.  On his  _left_ wrist however, he's got a blue cowrie bracelet (google them they're so pretty) that Jeremy got for him years ago as a token of friendship *cough*andundyinglove*cough*.  (the placement totally isn't because wedding rings go on your left hand or anything)  Jeremy has a matching red coral bracelet (that Michael got for him in return) that he wears too, it's just usually hidden by his ungodly long sweater sleeves.  Jeremy wears it on his right hand because he's a lefty and doesn't want to risk messing it up.  (apparently it's common for gay couples to wear wedding bands on their right hand though, so... :)))

Oh, fun fact: the axe is unintentionally in the shape of an "M".  And if you took the two blades and put them together, they'd kinda look like a heart.  

 

3.) Evan and his weapon!  Also, your first taste of my truly  _awful_ handwriting.  I was testing out a slightly different drawing style for this one, and while I don't hate it, I'm definitely sticking with my normal way of drawing people.  Something about Evan's face is just a little off.  Anyhow, Evan's got a snazzy staff weapon that looks like a cross between Mercy's (Overwatch) caduceus staff and Matt Holt's staff.   The segments on the head can open up to fire energy blast projectiles kinda like SU Pearl's spear.  It can also be electrified to pack a nasty extra punch, though being the sweetheart that he is, Evan would really rather not electrocute his foes.  But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.  He mainly uses the staff in a normal staff fighting way, so he's more suited to close combat than ranged, since he's a terrible shot and the staff does not allow for great precision aiming given its nature. 

 

 

4.) YES, THE INSANELY COOL JARED KLEINMAN MAKES AN ENTRANCE.  I  _TOLD_ you that I learned how to draw him and his goddamn hair, finally.  The top right picture where he's flashing his trademark shit-eating grin is normal post-Kerberos Jared, throat scar/hair streak and all.  I have mixed feelings about this drawing.  Not because it looks bad or anything- it's actually one of my better bust shots.  No.  I'm conflicted because I made Jared kind of attractive and I want to die.  But I digress.  

The bottom left picture is Project Kuron Jared after he's just "escaped" from that clone-making Galra base.  I couldn't bear to give him super long hair, so I settled for the world's worst Keith mullet.  Of course, he can never make fun of Connor's hair again after this because all Connor's going to do is pull up a picture of that god-awful hair and laugh cruelly.  Jared probably learns this the hard way.  The Galra also fixed his eyesight-- can't film shit with camera eyes if your vision's blurry-- so no glasses for clone Jared.  It helps with the slightly off vibe that you gotta get from the clone version.   He's so traumatized by the mullet that he, like Clone Shiro, gets his hair cut shorter than normal.  (Bottom right)  It's also in a significantly different style too, to help with the slightly off vibe.

But of course, clone Jared needs a new outfit too, because that's how clones work.  I present to you, my incredibly self-indulgent mini-concept at the top left.  Yes, I did just give him a somewhat JD-esque coat.  You can kill me now.  Which brings us to my next picture...

 

 

5.)  A redraw of that scene with Keith and Shiro, only if Keith was completely irreverent towards Shiro and was allowed to swear.  LOOK AT THAT ROBOT ARM I'M SO PROUD and bitter that the scanner decided to blur that part of the image.  If you can't tell, Jared's currently doing shit on a holo-screen.  LOOK HOW ANGRY CONNOR IS UGH HE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE.  I'm just.  I'm very happy with this picture.  Connor is about ready to throw hands with Jared and honestly?  I'm not sure who'd win.  Place your bets in the comments below or something because I'm torn

 

"Uh... Evan?"

6.) Speaking of conflict... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  Evan's pissed  _off_.  Definitely takes place after Jared disappears and the team is fractured as... someone... not necessarily Connor... is left to fill the Black Paladin's shoes and the team is thrown into chaos.  Connor probably either proposed doing something a little morally grey or did something self-sacrificing and Evan is having NONE of that.  Evan is surprisingly strong and has probably actually pulled Connor down to his level (might also be standing on his toes but that's up to you) to give him a piece of his mind.  Connor, initially angry and surprised by this action, is suddenly confronted with a lot of gay feelings at being pulled in this close to his crush  _by_ said crush.  This is probably a private argument... which means this could potentially end in a passionate makeout scene if that's your cup of tea.  Realistically I'd say it probably ends with Evan realizing what he's just done in about 3.5 seconds and freaking the fuck out as both of them repress the gay, but depending on the amount of bonding moments and gay feelings buildup you think have occurred before this, it could absolutely end in some kind of romance.  I like both options personally.  Who initiates the kiss is up to you ~~full offense but it's totally Evan~~

 

 

7, 8, 9.)  **HEIGHTS ARE NOT TO SCALE!!!** Here are the slightly altered (or in some cases, significantly altered) civilian outfits and general character models for the paladin boys.  These were done a while ago, but the only design I've updated since then is Michael's, which you already saw.  I updated Jared's hair and facial structure but his outfit stays the same.  Sorry about the notebook paper lines: no idea how to remove those.  But, uh, speaking of heights, have some canon ones in order from tollest to smollest.

Connor - 6'0" (he's a tol boy and despite Jared's new height he still gives Jared shit for being shorter than him and it absolutely riles him up)  
Jeremy - 5'11" (ah I know Michael's technically supposed to be taller but jermy boy is always gonna be a tallass in my heart)  
Jared - 5'10" (used to be 5'7" and you'd better believe he gives evan shit for being shorter now)  
Michael - 5'9" (as the middle ground height-wise he's basically free from any height-related jabs and thanks his lucky stars for it)  
Evan - 5'8" (is *this* close to flinging himself out the airlock now that Jared's the one making short jokes)  
Christine - 5'6" (the least bitter smol you will ever meet)  
Rich - 5'5" (he's a pint-sized powerhouse but anyone who calls him that is going to get absolutely murdered)

I might make actual colored refs of these eventually.  Maybe not.  Who knows.  Also I'm very proud of my adaptation of Evan's polo it's so goddamn cute

 

10.) HAVE SOME REBEL ZOE MURPHY

BITCH I BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT HER

_ NOPE _

Instead of Matt's lil cheek scar she basically gets a Shiro scar.  Jared is not quite as resourceful or altruistic a soul as Shiro (big surprise there) so he didn't do that big "I want blood" production and injure Zoe so she could get out of the arena battles.  She was thrown in the ring as planned but eventually managed to escape in basically the same manner that Matt does in canon.  She's also got a little star barrette and it's just the cutest goddamn thing.  

But I bet you're wondering something

If Connor's half galra, then wouldn't that make Zoe half galra?  Or are she and Connor just half-siblings?  Or not actually related at all?

She's half Galra but comes to that realization a LOT sooner than Connor.  Like, he tries to bring it up to her at some point and she's like "wait, you didn't know?  jfc how long did it take you to figure out??  lmao what a moron"  She's also a lot less torn up about it, which irritates Connor to no end.  

But I bet you're also wondering something else

If their mom is the alien, how the hell did she see anything in fucking  _Larry_ of all people???  Or is the dad the alien and they are related to Cynthia?

Oh no, their mom is the Galra.

But Larry's not their biological father.

And they _are_ biologically related to Cynthia.

...just let that sink in...

 

that's right yall tHE GAY RUNS IN THE FAMILY

Connor and Zoe have two moms: a gay and presumably cool yet emo-ish alien space mom, and a bi earth mom who's trying her hardest and loves her children

if you're wondering how Cynthia and the as-of-yet unnamed Galra chick possibly had kids as bio females I'm just handwaving it as they've got alien space tech that can do the trick NO THEY DIDN'T LAY EGGS YOU OVIPOSITION-LOVING FUCKS NOT IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN NEIGHBORHOOD

also I kinda want Connor and Zoe to be fraternal twins??? and maybe they had a dipper + mabel dynamic when they were younger???  I just think that would be so cute

yeah uh when the Murphy kids learn that they've got two moms they're both kinda like "well this explains a lot" because Connor's gay as fuck and Zoe's bi/pan (whichever is up to you) (I'm bi myself so I'm a little bi-ased :D )

 

OKAY THAT'S THE END OF MY DUMP HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED

next time on  _They're like space cops on space patrol_ : Connor says "Good kitty" and Jared's kinkshame senses are tingling


End file.
